Hi, I’m Tiff. I had just been discharged from therapy and I was thinking about my life. My life story. What makes me ME. What makes me Tiff. I struggled and cried, I was happy and painless, I was fun and very active. I always loved to read and watch movies, I got kindled by the Harry Potter movie marathon on Halloween with my family. I love it! And my story? It needs to be said. I will therefore talk about it.
My story REALLY begins around high school in sophomore year. After a painful experience with a medication that RUINED my life, taking me down for the count in misery. After that, I was questioning EVERYTHING. What’s my purpose? Am I LGBTQ? Am I as happy as I can be? The answer lied in one solution that was buried deep inside me. And I ignored it.
after I graduated, I flipped out. I got crazy hair and went to a PHP for the first time, I flunked out of things and I bailed. And cried. I went to therapy. His name was Joey. He was creative and out of this world. He offered a lot. I wasn’t receptive to that and so I start hearing voices that tried to kill me in my head. I was delirious. I hated everyone and everything, trying to push it away. Then my mom just was covering for me all the time and I guess I didn’t want that. So I went to Mesa Springs.’they thought I was bipolar but I was jacked up on steroids and it only LOOKED that way. I talked to a friend who was trans there and I realized not everyone was straight or cos. I knew instinctively I was a lesbian, I chose to ignore it. I was frustrated that we never found good meds and out old psychiatrist was giving not good advice. We switched to JPS and I went to PHP for the second and third time. The third time was what really got me in for it. Then after that I was always trying to “avoid” the hospital while trying to convince my mom I was delusional and I had it because of a physical symptom since we were trying to figure out what was causing the issues, etc. it was hard to figure out. June 2020. I went to the tenth floor. I was able to talk myself out of the tenth floor the first time, they sent me to Trinity Sprinvs. I went 2 more times. The second time was when I tried PHP. It didn’t do much good. I was back. And I got shots for it. Trinity Springs was not where I wanted to be. What I wanted to do. It was painful feeling like my world was taken from me like this, and by myself. I did it to myself. And I’m sorry. And I fell in love with reading and TV only because I have a new iPad and iPhone now that I can use and not have to constantly avoid my phone for various reasons. I felt better on my meds and I’m writing this today after I did my final session with my current therapist who discharged me. That’s my story so far.