its definatly been awhile since i wrote.

i dont really know why i havent been on DT,  it could be becasue my laptops been broken for months & i dont reli like coming on DT on my home computer. Or wether its becasue ive been soo busy with courswork & pre-exsam stuff.

either way its been along time, & im sorry for missing out on so many people on here.

so last time i was here all the excitement with matt had kicked off,.. & well it hasnt stopped. i think thats partly it too. Also big news: me & aronn have finished everything, we’ve accepted its the end. & actually the end for good. he’s also moving to america at the end of this year which is also good. – Back to matt. yea, soo- he fake proposed to me for laugh but its become a joke amoung my family & friends, but me n matt treated it abit more seriously, its kinda our way of telling each other how we feel. we talked alot the other night, n well yea ended uo having sex, but both a tad drunk, which caused matt some…issues with his..well yea the usual issues drunk guys have. but we laughed it off, but while we were hugging naked he wispered that he loved me, & im not sure what he ment by that- like as in i love u alot in this moment, or i love you in a strong friend way or actually ment that he love LOVED me…? im trying not to read into it, but hey im girl thats what happens. 

But yea… good on that front.

Its my 18th birthday in……8 days!! im very much excited. i have a beautiful dress & shoes for it. i feel really pretty for once, and im actually exitied for my birthday!!! im 18. YAY.

it feels like a new chapter is going to start- i turn 18, i leave school in 2 weeks, my councelling stops in 2 weeks [im sad about that cos ive been with my counceller for..2 years. she is amazing- complelty amazing]  things are picking up. they are not amazing, or as i would hope, but they are better enough to feel that i can truely smile at things.

im in the mood to spread the love.

xxxxx