My depression has a way of just coming to the surface for a while and then going just like it came. For the past few days I have been feeling it a lot! Last night when I was driving home from teaching a yoga class I just started to cry. I don't know why. Then when I was in the shower I kept weeping for periods of time and then it would stop. I ask myself why am I crying like this and I just don't know. When I feel like this I find no joy in anything…kinda like a part of me has shut down to what is going on around me. I have started doing OMEGA-3 and B complex in hopes of easing these emotions..and damn if I didn't remember to take it this morning!! I'm also using YAZ birth control which has 'stuff' in it to address my depression. You would think with all that stuff I'm taking and doing yoga that I would be able to lift out of this.
People will come to me to unload themselves emotionally but when its time for me to unload some of what I'm dealing with, yup..you got it there is no one there to hear me. Last night after I had gotten out of the shower and my husband was talking to me about his day, not once did he ask how my day was or the class I taught. I brought this up to him and then of course it was, 'how was your day?' . By then it just feels like hes responding to what I said rather then it being a geniune question.
What do I expect? Really not much of anything. While I would like to have a friend who could relate to me and let me be me..I have come to see thats not happening. With this isolation comes more feelings of the same.