Right now I am at school in a study hall with one of my favorite teachers Mr. Stowe. I told him I was doing a World War Two project, but I just don’t feel like doing it. I’ll probably feel bad about it later but that’s not my fault, I’m assuming it’s just my mind.
I am writing this on an Apple laptop the school has for us to use; our city was nice enough to purchase them for us but now they think they have the right to not give us any of the budget money. How very tenacious of them. Is that even what tenacious means? I’ll go look. Well, I guess it sort of works. But, as I was saying, I am typing this at school on one of those desks with the veneer tops, and they have an arm res at the right side. Typical High School stuff, am I right? Well, I’ll regret later writing this post here as I’d rather write my first one at home.
Just from those two paragraphs I am sure you can see that I do have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s true. I have been through a lot in the past few years and now I must suffer with a life long disorder or illness. It made me laugh a little inside when I first learned that I was technically ‘mentally ill.’ I mean, how cool is that?! I mean, I have always been a little different, and I even have to say it…a little smarter in some ways. I am extremely analytical and I like to think a lot. Most people have never seen the real side of me; the side that is extremely intelligent and worthy of notice. I am also a musician, I play the drums, guitar, harmonica, keyboards, and I even sing. I love music, and I love to listen to Blues, Jazz, and Classic Rock. I even love to play it (not Jazz, I can’t play Jazz yet!!!).
As I type this, I am having fun…
Well, I had to go to a choir rehearsal for tonight’s show. I saw a girl there I knew for awhile, and other things. Nothing happened though, but the story of our friendship is a funny one. I promise I will tell you guys some day…But anyways, I left at around eleven-thirty I think, now it is eleven-fifty-four. Cool, huh? Now I’m just typing to type, but I love to write also.
But, I am having fun typing this because it feels like I am getting relief. I’m interested about how my Prozac will work as I just started re-taking it again yesterday…I took it a few weeks ago but I had blurry vision so they took me off it for awhile. Hopefully this helps my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder…OH YEAH!!!
My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not ‘Pure O’ as some people have. Mine is more compulsive but with a little obsession. I have to wash my hands a lot, I need to count things, if I read something it is very difficult because of a lot of the criteria I must follow to read it ‘correctly…’ Woops, was just interrupted by Mr. Stowe, he told me something about Pink Floyd. He loves music just like I do, especially Jazz. But, otherwise I am mostly compulsive. I have bad thoughts about various family, things are ‘contaminated’ to me, I freak out if I am around drugs or alcohol, I am upset I took a picture of me as a baby out of a picture frame years ago to scan it or take a picture of it for my girlfriend at the time. I feel guilty about that. I feel guilty about almost everything. I also feel the need to confess lots of things. I feel bad about telling me, my friends, that I take Prozac. Or, at least some of them.
Well, that’s it for now. I’ll be posting blogs and forum messages often. I like it here; I feel like I am not so alone in this like I have been feeling.