So, this is an anxiety site and they don't have a mood for depressed. Anyone else think thats ridiculous?
Today was an okay day. It started off okay, and I went to work. Got there and it seemed that my anxiety started FLOODING in and OUT. It couldn't make up it's mind…..One minute I would be perfectly fine and then the next I could feel my anxiety climbing up. It got so bad that I had to go outside for a minute.. and came back in and was a little better. It kept feeling like I was going to throw up.. one time I swear I was going to..
So I ended the day on an "okay" feeling. IT was snowing ridiculous amounts by this time, and I was paranoid of going into a ditch all the way home. Made it home fine.. and walked through the door and started crying. Wtf?! It seems everyday something makes me cry.. its like my hormones are going CRAZY.
Boyfriend came home.. and he just came in and I started bawling my eyes out and spilling my life story about how I have been paranoid ever since I was a child. I always feel like something bad is going to happen, but it never does.. its really weird. He was very understanding, but sometimes I wonder if he thinks im totally mental… Its like Im waiting for him to break up with me. I mean, we never go anywhere or do anything hardly cause I'm too afraid to.. 🙁
Ive never had a panic attack at work before.. I hope this doesn't continue. I've actually felt pretty good after that cry. It seems that after I cry I feel like 23283728937232 times better. Its weird.
I like angry music… Makes me feel like I"m not the only one who goes through BS in life. Its like I pray and pray and after 10 years (ive had this problem since 4th grade) i am still having the same problems I had as a child. You think I'd learn how to cope but no…
Nonetheless, I continue praying in hopes that one day God will answer my prayers… He has with a lot of other things, why not this? Perhaps I was always destined to have this problem and he knew it would make me a stronger person. Who knows. God has a plan, I'm just not sure what kind of wicked evil plan this is.
My stomach has been KILLING me for the past like 3 days.. I'm not sure if its all this stress.. can stress cause really bad stomach aches? Its like awful…