I hope that everyone is doing well today!
The twist is that my husband is working from home for two weeks due to someone at working having Covid. Earlier I learned how to draw seagulls, jelly fish, sea horses etc. I found a way to write and draw even with broken finger.
I decided to go the lake today. Today’s location is by the rock beach. Seagulls are perched on the no wake zone floating things in the water. I like the lack of boats coming by with the loud engines sounds.
When I left the house, I said bye I am leaving and he didn’t even ask where I was going. Maybe he senses I see it all as a roommate situation now.
I brought a book, drinks and snacks and plan on staying here for a while here by the large rocks, waves, and sea gulls.
Either I am able to build a full life in the current situation by passing his existence or it won’t work .
He betrayed my trust and broke my heart. If he is honest with himself, he will realize that I am still here because I have no where to go. I have given up on him being worthy of my love and trust.
The term radical acceptance sums up my new stance. I see things how they are and know he won’t change but I can change. I can not lie to myself anymore about it getting better It won’t. Realistically, I gave birth to 3 children with him and now he might feel obligated to financially support me. He is who is and it isn’t acceptable though and I see it like it is.
Now, I am going to read and listen to the waves on the “date with myself.”
Thanks for listening.