Hi everyone,

I hope that everyone is doing well today!

The twist is that my husband is working from home for two weeks due to someone at working having Covid.    Earlier I learned how to draw seagulls, jelly fish, sea horses etc.  I found a way to write and draw even with broken finger.

I decided to go the lake today.   Today’s location is by the rock beach.   Seagulls are perched on the no wake zone floating things in the water.   I like the lack of boats coming by with the loud engines sounds.

When I left the house, I said bye I am leaving and he didn’t even ask where I was going.   Maybe he senses I see it all as a roommate situation now.

I brought a book, drinks and snacks and plan on staying here for a while here by the large rocks, waves, and sea gulls.

Either I am able to build a full life in the current situation by passing his existence or it won’t work        .
He betrayed my trust and broke my heart.   If he is honest with himself, he will realize that I am still here because I have no where to go.  I have given up on him being worthy of my love and trust.

The term radical acceptance sums up my new stance.   I see things how they are and know he won’t change but I can change.  I can not lie to myself anymore about it getting better   It won’t.   Realistically, I gave birth to 3 children with him and now he might feel obligated to financially support me.   He is who is and it isn’t acceptable though and I see it like it is.

Now, I am going to read and listen to the waves on the “date with myself.”

Thanks for listening.

Lacey🌸

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