Today went well. Rode bus to library and checked out some books. In a good mood. Music made me sad, it does that sometimes, it will-I guess-remind me of mom or some other sad moment in my life. The death of my sister. It's been 36 years but I still have a hard time about it. It was so traumatic.
I know it sounds weird though but even though I miss her so so much i'm glad that she is with Jesus and not having to go through all that has gone on in our family. Amy was born with Spina Bifida. If she had lived she would be 44. She was an angel sent to us. She was only here for 9 years but
Called my dad. He and mom are in an assisted living facility up in West Texas. Mom has dementia. Dad has health issues. He told me that there is a new patient who for whatever reason has decided to start picking on momma. Okay, I know the lady probably has issues of her on, dementia or brain damage, I don't know what but it is heartbreaking! I can't abide anyone being hateful to my mother, especially when I can't be there to protect her. momma would never hurt a fly. I'm hoping my sisters who live up there will have something done about it. momma does nothing to provoke it.
i feel tears way down deep inside but i have to keep them down, if i let even one tear fall i will lose it.
do u ever feel like there's a little child deep inside you/ i do. I try so hard to keep her from waking up because when she wakes up she cries and it feels like shes/I'm dying. stay asleep. God is good.
So I may start back working part time at Goodwill, Lord willing! it really all depends on if they let me, see, i didn't give notice when i left, i pretty much had a breakdown. My supervisor back then was a very good boss but she lacked people skills and she berated me beyond necessary. She had every right to admonish me but she was so hateful. Many of my coworkers quit because of her, but she has been transfered so…i may be working!!! YAY! which means i can get a car and when i get my own place i will have more income!! eeee!!!! yay, let it be so Lord, let it be so. You want to bless Your children and so I am asking that you bless me with a job, a car and an apartment! SOOOOO EXICTED!!! too manic to sleep!!
Death of a love one is always hard to get over and you should always remember those wonderful times together. Thats what memories are for.
My Mom had dementia was in a home. You have to remember that those poor souls in there have no memories and when they do they are all over the place. They know not what they say or do. Except some distant time and place or person. There comes a time that they may not even know their own children. I was lucky …my Mom always knew me by my natural curly red hair. That she never forgot. She would sit and twist my curls in her fingers. How I miss her.
I will keep hoping for your job, freedom of a car, a place for you to live. And to be happy in some form.
So be excited …that's what it's all about!!!!!!