So I must admit things have turned around since my earlier blogs. Things have gotten much better. Little or no panic attacks and I have forgotten to take my meds (Sertraline25 mg) for over 2 months. Its something I don't recommend but I was on such a small dosage and I was feeling good andstayingbusy. I substituted the medications for exercise. These days I carry my stress differently and my body almost acts ill when I get stressed. Unsure if my constant backache is due to carryinga 25 lb 1 year old or stress or pinched nerve. I am getting married this month to the man I am happy to have been blessed with 8 years ago. I worry bout what people think as I am now mother to 4 beautiful kids and because he has never been married we are having a huge reception to celebrate our event. Noone has been negative about it but I still feel funny inviting people that were around for the first marriage and wearing a wedding dress. It seems strange but my ex who has been the enemy for so long (ie long custody case, abusive marriage) has actually been okay and somewhat cooperative when we have to deal with the two children we share. He even apologized which is something I never thought I would ever hear. So I am happy and relieved everything is going great but part of me (the anxiety part) is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am not a negative person but somedays it seems just too perfect almost like a dream. So many things have changed in my life since I joined anxiety tribe and all for the better. I became a Tastefully Simple Consultant earlier this year and have a great group of girls that are now my close friends. Something I never thought about doing cause this from the girl who had anxiety so bad at one time became agoraphobic and speaking in public left me powerless. LOLnow these walls can't hold me. I just wantto let you all know thatthere is hope for a better tomorrow and I may need to get back on my medicationsat some point but not today! Now toenjoy the sunshineand breathe inthe day!