She's been a good friend…and she liked me, and I liked her…we had been talking almost every day… we were good for each other, helping each other deal with our various forms of inner demons…but I haven't heard from her in the last couple of days, and she hasn't responded to any of my messages…how did I scare this one away?…What did I do this time?….Did she tire of my telling her about my depression-related woes(btw, if anyone reads this and feels like commenting, am I even allowed to write about depression here, or is it just supposed to be about anxiety attacks? I have anxiety attacks too, but if I'm only going to talk about depression, should I just be writing this stuff on that Depession tribe site?)?…Was it something I said to her last time we were in touch with each other?…I have other theories, but won't go into them right now….All I know is that if I scared her away, it sucks….I have a history of doing this, though…..In the last few years, I've scared away friends who couldn't deal with me being too open about my depression/anxiety attack-related issues…I once scared away a VERY DEAR friend–perhaps my best friend at the time– many years ago, because, well, in a nutshell, I believe it was because I ended up falling in love with her, among other things, and needless to say, the feeling wasn't mutual…..however, that story has turned out better for me: Her and I reconnected via Facebook after being out of touch with each other for over 10 years, and now we are good friends again, so I am happy about that…but the ones I have lost, the ones I have scared away, well…I know I should just accept it and move on, but I hate losing friends….I think it's because I'm just an overly-sentimental person, and I hate losing people that have been good friends and have been important to me….Some people disappear from our lives and just aren't meant to come back into our lives, I guess, but I obviously have a hard time accepting that.; If this particular friend is gone, that won't be any different…

2 Comments
  1. jen13 12 years ago

    we all have anxiety and depression. I have been diagnosed with both 🙂 maybe the person you were talking to was busy or just had a bad day and didn\'t log on. I would not worry too much about it. If someone is worth it they will stick with you through anxiety, depression, anything!!! a few years ago when I was single I didn\'t even accept when guys would ask me out on dates. They would even call me a \”b*tch\” and think I was blowing them off when in truth I was ashamed of my anxiety and derpression. When I first met my fiance he would literally not give up.. I must have turned him down 101 times. He kept saying \”im not giving up on you\” .. 3 years later we are still together. You will have this too, I promise!!! don\'t give up on yourself..for years I kept telling myself good things will eventually happen. I spent many weekends alone in my room watching movies by myself. It will get better!!!!

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  2. Trainwreck 12 years ago

    chin up! easier said than done – we know. Constant daily positive self talk is what your gonna focus on whenever this \'person\' crosses your mind. \”I\'m cool, I\'m good, I rock!\” make it your mantra post it on your mirror. 🙂

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