As is typical of people who suffer from anxiety I have created a bubble for myself that has gotten progressively smaller and smaller. I used to travel a lot. I actually used to love to travel. Now of course things are VERY different. I have to go to New York this weekend for a conference thingy. I am so unbelievably nervous. I've done a resepctable job of making a lit of all that I needed to do and have gone through items one by one. I really don't have much more to do than pack and get to the airport on Saturday morning. Nonetheless I am horribly anxious. The last time I flew was two years ago and I forced myself to go b/c my best friend was getting married. Other than that trip (also to NY) in 2008 I have not gone anywhere farther than an hour or two from home. I am not afraid of flying. I am afraid of being so far from my comfort zone and of having to be around so many people. I do hate crowds. I loathe them. I blink and duck and flinch. Its ridiculous. And where better for crowds than Newark International? It should find this whole thing laughable. I always used to be the guy telling people to chill out about travel. I have missed two intercontinental flights (London-Houston) in my life. All that happened was that they put me on the next flight. Big deal right? So the worst that can happen is that you miss your flight and you have to get the next one or fly the following day. I once arrived in Florence in the middle of the summer with no place to stay, couldn't find anywhere so I just went and slept at the campground. Now I have a booked, confirmed, paid-for room at a hotel and I'm having a fit. The reason I missed those two flights was terrible traffic and terrible planning b/c I was so blasse about everything. I didn't even bother to take traffic into account after I had already missed a flight a year before. That's how "un-neurotic" I was. I have the chance to hang out with my best friend in Manhattan Saturday night, spend the day with him and his wife and baby on Sunday and all I do is complain. I feel guilty for being so selfish but I am still just so scared.

4 Comments
  1. peachiepeach90 13 years ago

    I too have a  HUGE fear of traveling.. Even 2 hours is hard for me.. I try to stay within n hour of my home.

    I guess what you have to realize is that you are not stuck there even though you may think so… YOu can always go homee, ALWAYS. Its the great thing about America. 🙂

    Hang in there and you will realize that once this trip is over you are going to be so proud of yourself your self confidence is going to rise through the roof.

     

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  2. pixieflower 13 years ago

    Its ok to admit your scared Jack! But sometimes the best thing to do is face it. It might be stressful but once you have gone through it you will be so proud of yourself that you make take more chances and travel like you have so wanted to do again. Just prepare yourself ahead of time, try to calm down early before the crowds. I find when I am have a panic attack around a group of people I just focus on one thing. A picture on a wall or a street sign and once I pass it get something else so you dont focus on the people. It helped me and I hope that it can help you so you can enjoy yourself.

    I hope you can find the time to enjoy your friend and enjoy the trip!

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  3. katyellis76 13 years ago

    at least u can say your scared we all have things that scare us and i dont think your selfish at all because your panicing about the whole thing your try n your best and thats ok you shouldnt push yourself to much im sure your friend will be very understanding and i know u can fly your a strong person and we all believe in you and support u here!!!!
    – kate

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  4. Jack21 13 years ago

    Thank you all for being so supportive. I hope this goes ok.

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