I originally signed on here to find help for my significant other, and suddenly I find myself venting, not for him… for me.  He’s been going through his depression for 3 months now, no meds, but therapy once a month. Will not utter a single word about how therapy is going other than the fact that he is going.  Everyday is a battle, I do not know what mood he is in.  Will he be happy today? Will he be stressed?

I’m starting to rethink our situation.  We are here because he is a workaholic.  He has not taken a single vacation since he started working there 3 years ago.  He is stressed, overworked, and at first, I blamed his boss, but now I feel like its his fault. When it comes to work, you give, give, give, and give some more, but the time you have given you cannot take back, and work doesn’t always give back what you want it to. So…addiction to work + no vacation = one stressed and depressed man.

I have told myself many times that I would not leave him just because he’s going through a depression, but if I know that even before he went into a depression, work has always been a priority OVER me, does that make it ok for me to give up? Don’t know, have 7 years with him, and I’ve been happy, but I dont think "happy" will be enough to keep us going for the rest of our lives. 

I dont know how to keep giving him my love and attention when sometimes it is rejected or not appreciated. For Christmas he said he never wants to buy gifts again for any adults (including myself) because he doesn’t like it, has never liked it, and it makes him uncomfortable. He asked me if we could just not do gifts at all for Christmas and any other Holiday. How dare he just rip my Christmas spirit from my heart. I told him he didn’t have to buy me anything, I just wanted us to do something nice for each other, and he avoided it. So now what? Return the PS3 I bought him for Christmas?

What a headache I have… I think my hair hurts from thinking about it so much!! hahahaha… someone pinch me.. I want to wake up from this bad dream before it becomes a nightmare.