I constantly feel unappreciated in my personal and personal life. As a result, I second guess myself and my abilities. It eats away at my confidence and deepens my depression.
The job I have right now is being an instructor at a college. It’s helping me pay for graduate school while giving me time to do my studies. But I absolutely hate it most days because it’s a lot of work with little reward. I always try my best to engage the students and be helpful but it feels like no one cares.
I made the mistake of checking myself on the rate my professor website. I’ve only gotten awful “reviews” from disgruntled students. I wish I could take my name off there because it’s embarrassing and mostly untrue. I know that I’ve helped some students but they aren’t the ones rating me. So it gives the appearance that I’m an awful teacher. For example, one student wrote that there was too much work and the tests were too hard. The thing is, I’m not in charge of the work load. I take direction from my superiors… Another student said that I didn’t answer my email and wasn’t available for office hours. Both are completely untrue.
These kids (by kids I mean 18yr olds) don’t seem to realize how difficult it was to switch to an online learning format. Additionally, I was dealing with taking my own classes so was only available by appointment. I just wish students would realize that their teachers are people too. Why do you have to smear someone’s name by writing a bad review? I know I’m not a bad teacher but it hurts to read these comments. It makes me regret ever taking the job. I hate feeling like this.
Thank you for sharing Genny, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. But you are appreciated, respected and loved by your peers, students, and your family/friends.
Secondly never guess your own abilities, especially since you have clearly made is past Undergad and are currently a grad student who also teaches which is super impressive! Not many can accomplish what you have done so far or will do, so keep going!
I can understand not feeling like your work is paying off especially right now, but trust me these hours/days/weeks/months/years of work you are putting in will be the foundation of something great down the line, mark my words! Keep grinding! And trust me students care, but we are going through a lot right now ourselves so as a student who is currently in undergrad I can speak for other students around the world and say we appreciate you and would not be successful with out teachers like you.
And don’t let those rate my professor sites get you down honestly, like you said you know you are not an awful teacher, you know you put in the work and effort to do your best, and those 2/3 students should not get too you because they are pissed about how you graded something or didn’t respond to any email quick enough, oh come on!
And like I said not every student understands what you might be going through, but reading your story I do and yes going online sucks and is hard for everyone but right now is a time for us to come together and be transparent with one another, so if you feel comfortable with this maybe tell your students some of how you are doing and i’m 99% sure that you will see a lot of positive response from them. Because not all students are a-holes, you know? There are a few good ones out there you just need to be willing to be open and transparent because i’m sure you students feel the exact same way if I’m being honest.