You know when people tell you to never google your symptoms? Well I am soooo bad for always doing it! Whenever something is wrong, I get a funny headache or pain I’ve not had before, I go straight to google. Even though I know it will freak me out by saying there is something life threatening wrong with me even though it’s probably nothing!

The amount of times I have freaked myself out, made myself worry, you would think I would have learnt my lesson, but for some reason I can’t stop myself. I have always worried about something being wrong with me. I am terrified of getting ill and I am a real germaphobe, especially during the current circumstances.

Is it normal to be scared of death? It terrifies me. I know it happens to everyone eventually, but I am so scared of it. I am also scared of terminal illnesses, I have been since I was old enough to know what this means. I have seen so many people suffer and I don’t know if this is why I am so afraid. I don’t want my family to suffer, I don’t  want to suffer.

Does anyone else feel like this? I hope it isn’t just me.

4 Comments
  1. jason01 1 year ago

    You definitely aren’t alone in feeling this way Jessiie. I am not really afraid of death, like you said it happens to everyone, but watching my family or people I care about suffer, not that is some pain I am not sure how I would overcome. I would just say this, it is pointless being afraid of something that is not currently in your life because then you will always be panicking. If there is an illness or issue right now you just need to face it head on or crumble to the fear, but you are just making yourself sick by constantly worry, especially if you are a completely healthy person.

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      jessiie 1 year ago

      I am glad I am not alone in feeling this way. I know I make myself sick by worrying. I cannot remember the last time I felt ‘well’. I don’t know how to stop myself and its so frustrating sometimes! I think it all started when my mum had a stroke unexpectedly when I was 16, ever since then I have always been scared of losing friends and family.

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  2. megluise 1 year ago

    I am the exact same, it’s bringing my anxiety to the highest levels it’s ever been. I don’t sleep, I can’t eat and when I do eat, I just binge eat. I’ve not had massive loss in my family, thank goodness, but since I can remember I’ve always been terrified of this. Every day I wake up with a feeling of dread and being terrified, this stays until I go to sleep.

    Now adding the current circumstances is just multiplying it, which I didn’t feel possible. I have asthma and I’m fat, so reading constant news articles about “it’s fine, it only kills those who has medical conditions or with a high BMI”, it’s just scaring me so much and I never have a moment without feeling dread or panic.

    You definitely aren’t allowed. I just wish I knew how to stop it all, it’s just exhausting feeling this way all the time.

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      jessiie 1 year ago

      It’s horrible isn’t it! I used to binge eat just after my mum had her stroke and then I would go days without eating. This would make my anxiety even worse, it’s a vicious cycle!

      You’re right it is completely exhausting and I wish I knew how to stop it too!

      Take care, I hope you’re doing okay!

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