It’s hard to take a shower.
It’s hard to take care of myself.

I guess it’s not hard.. I know how to shower and brush my teeth. But… I can’t seem to get the energy to do.
Like it’s hard to get out of bed and turn on the water and step in the shower.
My hair is so long and it’s tough to comb out the tangles.
I don’t have the motivation.
I know I will feel better afterwards, I usually do. But I can’t get the gumption to even get into the bathroom. It feels like such a task. It feels like I’ll need to wind myself up to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom and then wind myself up to step into the shower.. and then wind myself up to wash my hair and body… like I’m a wind-up toy.

It feels so simple to shower, but so so tough. I’m not so sure how to help myself at this point. Maybe I’ll try the opposite action or maybe I’ll just take a quick shower and wash my hair tomorrow.

I feel fragile and empty, like a hallowed out vase that can break at any second. But nobody would be there to pick up the pieces, so they would just stay on the ground forever.