Hello everyone

I thought I'd best drop a line and say hello, My name is Jess and I've been a memeber on here in the past but been trying to ignore my depression for sometime. Makes me feel weak and like theres not a single thing I can do properly, living breathing being a good fiance to my husband to be.

His name is Lee and I love him with all my heart; sadly though he doesn't have much patience for my down days and my tantrums when I get in one of those moods where I want to destroy everything in my path. Depression is not something I'm unfamiliar with – I've suffered with it on and off since I was 15 and my Dad suffers with it quite badly aswell.

I do have somethings that make me happy in my life – what am i talking about I have lots of things in my life that make me happy. I have a family that loves me and a fiance that would give me the world if he could. But still I sit here and wonder what I can bring to the world. I am due to get married next summer its 12months away on thursday. scary but exciting all the same.

Today has been a day of indifference really. Felt tired alot, been helping the new housemate move her stuff in and helping the old housemate make sure her stuff doesnt get mixed up in new housemate's stuff. Can't really stand the site of her anymore to be honest but not alot I can do about that so hey ho.

Yesterday was a very bad day moodswings all over the show one min I was cuddly and loveable next I was like a rhino that had just seen its own ass. Sometimes I feel better when I lock myself away and cry for a bit… why does that always make me feel better?