It is 2am, and I have been crying since 5pm. It’s RIDICULOUS.

My dad and I got into a big fight. I was supposed to be going to college this year, but my parents decided to mention to me at the last second that they weren’t going to pay for me to go. After years of telling me they would. I can’t get any financial aid as long as I have to claim their income, which is until I’m 25, or until they take me off as a dependant, which they won’t do because they get tax cuts. So now I’m going to community college, and I’m absolutely devestated about it because I have wanted nothing more than to go away to college for my whole life. I could die the day I get my degree and be a happy person. But I am not going. So I’m having a hard enough time right now, because everyone I know is getting ready to leave at the end of the week, and I am not. And of course they’ll talk about NOTHING else. I have literally nothing in common with the vast majority of my peers now except year of birth. As if I didn’t feel alienated in life enough as it was.

And now this happens. The math class I wanted to take was at 8am. I purposefully decided against taking that class because I knew there was no way I could be successful in my classes if I had to get up that early. I barely made it through high school. So I took the 10am class. Now, three days before classes start, my dad informs me that they were apparently just kidding when they said they’d be getting me a car to drive. And I’m actually going to have to be getting up at 6:30 to drive him to work every day, or else I’ll have no car.

So now after 12 years of waiting to finally be well rested enough to do well in classes, 3 days before the big day, I find out that I get to wake up at exactly the same time I did for high school. Even though my first class isn’t for FOUR MORE HOURS.

And my boss would not have given me the job had I not told him I would have a car to drive every day. He specifically asked me if I would, and I said yes, because my parents told me I would. Then, at the last minute, they change their minds. Just like college. Apparently it’s okay to fuck with people like that. News to me.

And the first time I have to walk to work in the rain and turn up soaking wet, he’ll know I don’t really have a car to drive and will probably fire me. That’s just how he is. And I’ll have a great time trying to find a new job when they see I’m 18 years old and the only work experience I’ve got lasted 2 days until I got fired.