I just moved in with my boyfriends parents, where as I would live with just my boyfriend and my son. I can not do it here I just can't! When I took a shower I could either have the door open and always look back and fourthif a intruder came in and got me. This house you can't even see and now someone is there. I am frightened, I just don't know what to think. Not even that some guy came to my house selling some As Seen On Tv carpet cleaner and asked to come in my house and see my carpet. I said no! I am scared he will come back I immediatly called my boyfriends mom. I keep paceing the floors because I think he will come back.

On the flip side(hey, I am so cool…be jealous. lol of course I say corny lingo) anyway…. a few things A. I really need to get started on this page and get things updated on it. B. I have a appointment with someone who specializes in OCD which he was the only person within a 2 hour radius of me. Yeah right huh? I am really happy. The only thing is I don't want ti give up my everyday rituals. I want to rid the thoughts and all but I don't want to leave what has made me comforatable since I was a little child. C. My boyfrends dad likeI said he has mental issues and because I want to keep things between my family and I, I would rather not specify what he has but he has a understanding how I feel and why my fears are so scary.

The coolest thing is we actually have some of the same fears. Like feeling clausterphobic(ms?) and elevator fears and all. Well he has fears of a crouded elevator as where as do I. Mine are more elaborate where asI am afraid someone will kill me, someone will bring bombs in, or the elevator will stop. However, the three years that I have been with my boyfriend his dad and IBARELY NEVER talked. Now that he feels like we have something in common he is really trying to help me and bond with me a lot more. He wants to take me to a support group tonight where some others have mental illness and we can sit and talk about things. This group has realy helped me a lot, I am hoping for the group talk. I just think it is very special he wants to take me somewhere because he thinks it will help me. Also, I feel like I have to say this I love this italic look. Oh, and I want to say something else… this computer just don't let me click things so some of my blogs will be a lot differnet than as where as I was on my tablet or the computer computer.

This typing thing has really calmed me down since that guy came to my house wanting to come inside my house. It was ver scary I still can't get it off my mind. I honestly don't know if I keep typing or not. I am not very sure what to type.

Well I think that shall be it my friends I will probally type another bloggy out tonight about how the meeting went.


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