Well I dont know my mood once again…lol…but Im tired,didnt get any sleep last nite, I was out of my sleep meds…Im a imsomniac( hmm wonder if that is spelled right) no meds because no gas to get to the doc…and quite honestly I forgot I even had an appt….gee i must be gettin' old…LMAO! oh well, it happens to the best of us…Im not sure exactly what i want to write…Im not myself lately..Well, I am…but Im not…there's been a lot going on here, as usual, and sometimes there just isnt time to stop…and Im a person who needs that…a place to stop, and be quiet, thats usually in my garden,,,but I dont have one this year,so im just a little bit lost…OH DAMN THIS STUPID FLY IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!! Ive been trying to kill it for days…anyway, I might be a friendly people person, but sometimes I am a loner, and I need that alone time to keep me sane…this has been such a strange couple of weeks…well dealing with my son is always hard…and I took the kids to see him last week,,,it was ok, but he was drinking and messin' with my head as usual…I do Love him, but you know sometimes I really dont like him at all…I wonder if that even makes sense…I dont know…and then there is Tonjia(daughter in law) I really think she's lost her mind…she has been scooping up men off the internet for months now…wrapping them around her finger, sleeping with them, then on to the next one…and she doesnt take a lot of time to know them…I know what she's doing,,,she's hunting…looking for someone to take care of her( and us she says) ( I can take care of myself …thank you) she acts like she is in this all by herself…but I help pay the bills…and keep the house and children ,and critters…everytime she finds one she wants…she'll spend all her time with him…for a week or so…maybe less, then on to the next one..Usually Im thinking THANK GOD, because she really picks some wierdos…she told me last week all she wants is security,,,she doesnt care about love at all…this is how she was when I first met her….and this is how she is again…now she has got on this site, I wont say the name, but the men supposedly have tons of money, and just want a mistress or whatever…she's got one on the line now…I am really worried about her, the person she is on line is nothing like her real self,,,and she changes to fit any man …like a chamealon…its kind of scary…and the kids are freaking out…at least the oldest one is…he caught her naked in front of the pc…( why didnt she lock the door?) Lord!! he said Grandma what the hell is wrong with her?!!! and Im thinking ( to myself) HELL I DONT KNOW<maybe she fell and cracked her head on something…but I say, well honey, your mom is really lonely and just a little bit crazy right now…what am I sposed to say??? HELL I dont know whats going on either…Im  trying…but color me clueless!!! Her sister came over and said Cindy whats wrong with her, she has a job, and you and the kids…a place to live….you take care of almost everything for her…and what can I say…Well, she doesnt want to work anymore…and well, shes lonely, and oh Hell I dont know…maybe she fell and cracked her head  REAL HARD!!! So, Ive just been cooking, cleaning, and goofing off on the pc…somehow sending people comments helps me forget how freaking nuts it is here lately…and the kids…well, they have dived into video game land…and we just kind of live around her and my son's insanity…and I am usually very good at being around crazy people…but sometimes…well, I guess I have my limit…and I am really trying to end this on a funny note…because all my life is such a comedy…and tradgedy…NO NOT REALLY …comedy lol honestly it is…I mean really you cant make this shit up….LOL…and I am constantly amazed at how nutty my life can be…and IM STILL Halfway sane…and people wonder why I talk to myself….LMAO…hell I got to fit in someway…and ah hell, the dog is eating my bedside table…oh well, its not the first dog to snack on it….maybe I'll get my wood burning thingy and burn into it all the pets names who have used it for a chew toy…yeah…thats something a normal sane person would do…isnt it…please humor me and say YES….