Most of everything resides inside of us, for lack of a better way to describe it. Whether we are here, present or not, all this crazy stuff outside just keeps on going. Or it doesn't. We'll never know I suspect.

It is human nature to avoid anything upsetting or anything that causes us loss. The worst thing has to be when we must face the death of our loved ones. It will tear you down and tear you apart, and sometimes you don't even realize how much you cared for someone, until they must leave you.

I am particularly vulnerable to the suffering of innocent animals. Of all the anxieties and issues I've had along the way, saving and rescuing all the little animals, has been my blueprint. I don't know why. Best I can figure, I was isolated and untouched to a great extent when I was tiny. I did have a cat then, and so when tempers flared in my house, I would get my kitty and head for the closet. Little children can't really understand high emotions. It made me very confused.

One thing I have noticed, and it may not be easy to quite explain, but here goes anyway… Whenever you reach a level spot, like a time where things are pretty good, you've not suffered anything too earth-shattering in a while and routine has set in. If you go beyond that, and start to enjoy life a little more, as in my case I've tried to be supportive and donate to organizations and even people who just need a hand up, when you are successfully doing good in the world, that's when you seem to become some huge target, and that's when things start to unravel again.

We have to understand we have no control. None. The more detached one can be from the outcome of things, the better we can ride the waves and survive.

I recently had to come out of denial and face the hate and the evil that lives next door to me. This woman even holds a lien on my land, on my home, but that is not the worst she has done to me. Yesterday I realized I couldn't even count the number of animals that have just disappeared or come up missing in the last couple of years from my home and others nearby. This past week two of my cats, Spooky and Cherokee both came up missing the exact same time. Only kitty left is Arnie and he is obviously traumatized and very cautious of something. I figure it was coyotes. This spring the rains and the storms knocked down most ALL the dead and dying trees (thanks to chemtrails) on this little farm, so there's a coyote super highway out on the backroad, they can take their pick of downed trees to scale for entry.

But my old roommate Jim was over yesterday too, and he decided to tell me that two years ago, when our neighbor across the circle, Jack, was still alive, that Jack had found our Spooky caught in a trap in the mean lady's yard. At that time, he let Spooky out of the trap, but Jim didn't tell me because he thought I'd lose it. Probably was a good idea.

But now I know. Whether my cats are gone due to her or if the circle of life is just extending itself into my domain, is hard to say. But I feel beaten down from it all. I want to retire from the rescue business and just enjoy and love and care for the ones still here. Maybe grief has some place, some good in it. I don't know. Without it, we wouldn't really remember those that go before us. Over time, we do forget things, and the pain is not so great. Losing someone we love a lot, even an animal, can set anyone back a little bit.

Now, when bad things happen, and I feel out of control, I know that it isn't me. That I can disengage from the chaos or the negative energies, and I re-group. I have learned and enjoyed extreme self-care for a while now, so it's easy to go back inside to touch base with the infinite, just to get perspective again. Love is a powerful force. Never doubt that. It doesn't go away. It transforms. In time it may be good to recognize the warm embrace of source energy, God, divine love, just in case some things escalate in our world and things get really bad.

They seek to separate us from what we love most. That much is clear. How can we love a planet we are excluded from, kept away from, taught to exploit rather than to care. So having a good intention with you, your mission, your passion at all times, but also having that automatic distancing mechanism in place, gives you much better advantage when bad things do happen. When someone upsets me, and I feel that nasty emotion of rage and anger rising inside me, as much as I can, as much as is possible, I seek to stop the momentum of it. Acknowledge it, ride it out for a bit, let it settle down, but don't engage with it, see it as something separate from you. The righteous indignation you feel is really not you. It's that little child-like ego inside stamping its feet at injustice and being denied what we really want. Acceptance and love.

I have a wiccan friend, a medicine woman of great skill, who told me yesterday, when I went out to search for my cats, to take some onions and throw them into her yard, and to continue to do that, and within 2-3 months, she would have to leave. I laughed so hard, I nearly peed myself. But when I went over the Jack's place next to hers, I did take a rotten half-growing old onion and with great ritual and intent we did throw that nasty thing right up by the back of her garage. haha For whatever good that may have done, it certainly made me feel ever so much better! lol

Rise above. Stay above the fray. Stay high and don't lie! haha Just made that one up. Anyway, I'd like to say to all of you, we have it within our abilities to function at a very high level. But whenever we try to do that, there will always be the mean creepy dysfunctional idiots who will seek to trip you up. Just be ready for that and in no way take it personally. People like that are doomed anyway, they act that way to everyone. It's not worth a second of your time.

And when you lose a beloved pet, or even a family member you cared about, try to just hang on. You will go through stages. You've seen the list. But if you reach the anger stage, be glad for that. It means you are very close to coming around to yourself again, and the pain and the anguish you have felt will be lifted very soon. Just because I want something to be a certain way, does not mean that it will ever be that way. Somethings, most things, are not within our power to change. But for those things we can work on, those things that give us joy and pleasure to pursue, those are the things we reach for most often, and we let the rest go by. People don't want to be saved, they don't want to change. Some people seem to actually enjoy their meanness and their very life depends on drawing you down into their own misery. Don't let them. Remember, always look up. Seriously, it works! Peace my good buddies… be kind, be fair, and always be smart. It is the greatest weapon in our defense we have. Use it! <3 Later, gators, over and out.

Ello