Well, it's been almost a few years since i last wrote. When I last blogged, my feelings and life where spiraling down. In 2012, I purchased a home, 5 bedroom, 2 car garage, 3.5 bath, no picket fence. My intentions where to have my children live with me and with that choice, i had to have my ex wife and her mom move in. Ok, i told myself, this should work, we aren't married. Well, little did i know and the outcome was uncontrollable. The first 6 months was ok, having my children with me was great, being able to drive them to school, cook for them, spend plenty of time and take them shopping. I was happy, but what occurred in the next 9 months was HELL. My ex started acting as if we where married again. I listened and then started a business (side work) to meet her expenses. (yes, purse and shoe buyer). I was at a point, of having a crisis. I started to drink heavy again. One night, it spilled and was bad, the stain was so bad, it was her or me. At first, i said, you keep the house, i'm moving. But something came over me, wait…I purchased this house, the deed has MY NAME, not her's. All the utilities where under MY NAME. Finally i realized, you screwed me before, now i'm going to screw you. I contemplated, had a mid life thought, seeked a counselor. Spoke to the counselor, and she suggested, bring her in. Before i tell you what happened, let me give you a brief overview about our relationship. We where married for 12 years, i served in the military, but i knew at the end of the marriage, something was not right, did she have an affair? It was true, she did, hence divorce, long term child support and constant arguing. Ok, present time, i had her come to the counselor with me, one question i asked her: "I need to hear it from you, did you or did you not cheat on me". Amen, she confessed. For over 9 years, i drank and used narcotics heavily thinking it was my fault for the marriage. Once she tells me that, i'm completely relieved. So i contemplated afterwards, the repurcussion of having her leave my house with my children. My kids will not talk to me, be hurt and think i'm a drunk again. Well, decision made, i asked her to leave and sure enough, my children would not talk to me.
it's been 2 years since she left, my life is different. I have a special relationship with my children, my eldest graduated from college, my middle child is in college and my last child is a football star in high school and will be heading to college soon.
During that time, i worked on myself, how to stop drinking. First, leave all your friends behind, yes, it hurts to leave those girls and guys who you once cherrised a little relax time with. (Drink and Eats) which resulted in being financially burdened and debt collectors calling. (think we all have done something crazy before like that)
Now, here's the cinderella story…almost an A&E / Lifetime short movie. I was looking for a very dear friend, i searched and searched with no leads. I told myself, well, i guess it was not meant to happen. Well, at a conference i was attending i received a friend request. not paying attention i accepted but, it was not till the next day i realized who it was.
We started talking all over again, i told myself…"Wow" how is this happening, your first love from high school and you both are talking like old times. Well, we started talking, i explained what happened with my children and the living situation.
During this time, we began dating again, i felt something i hadn't felt in such a long time, LOVE and being content. Now here's the sad side of it all, i told her, my condition over a text. Yes, don't ever do that, i was ashamed and felt sorry for myself, i couldn't face her. she thought and was given a sign it was meant to be together.
We go on a family trip, her family, to Hawaii in 2014 for her brothers wedding. Great times and when we returned we talked about a marriage. when and where, so one day, we decided, let's go down to the courthouse, get our license. we proceed to get our license, the clerk states, they can waive the wait period, so we marry.
Yes i'm now married, going on 6 months now. I'm the happiest man alive, i give her my undivided attention, but at times i don't hear her (think it's selective hearing?!) we are both happy as a tick on a hound dog.
Oh, and last but not least, I renowned my faith with christ. i was baptized over two months ago. as they say, the lord works in mysterious way. for the longest time, i assumed i was walking alone, but the whole time, i was being carried and finally let down and now, there are two sets of footprints; my father, LORD and me.
