Im not really sure if i should be in the tribe. But a month or so ago my life change and made me a better person. You could of called me a prick, dickhead, asshole, and other words i dont want to print but you could call me all of them.I know i will get all kinds of crap and i deserve.Buti got a call from the Polk county health dept in iowa. I called my beautiful girl after i got the message and asked her if she new why they wouldbe calling me.She said no. But shedidsay that we needed to talk. I met her thatnite and she said that they found out why hernew boyfriend had beensick last winter. She said that he was diagnose with aids.she went on to tell me that she was also tested and was positive for hiv.I dont cry,but itcrushed me, and i cried and cried and some days all day long.I asked her why she didnt call and tell me and she said because i would of got mad. The love of my life, mother to my unborn child thats do in four weeks.I went and got tested and was negative.Ive been a madman trying to get as much info onhiv and just anything that can help.I wanted her to move back with me. But she said thathe needed her. They gave him less than a year to live. I dont know man,Im just sad of being sad. When she said she would move backi was mean. Said mean shit. And going thru this has taken all the meaness out of me. I promised her that i would never get angryagain.Anybody that knows mewouldsay the oddsare against me and i would mess up.But i havent i told her to do what sheneeded to do and i would be there for herif she needs me. But i wantthe best for her. Im a person that doesnt give up.I dont know all i know isthis has changed me for the better.I want to help her and would do anything for her. But i also want to help outanyone that has been affected by this(i dont know what to call it)without cussing and getting mad. I dont know. And thats my biggest thing.I dont know. Love you all. If you all dont think i should be on here let me know. Im just kindof lost and i dontmy beautiful girl to give up, i knowi wont. But i cant makeanyone do anything that they dont want to do. i dont know thank you for letting me talk,im sorry for rambling on. take care god bless