so, I guess first with what went well. My time at the gym today was good. I always like working out. even though i have a past of abusing it, it's always been something I've enjoyed.


and the girl I work out with, her name is Chirsty, is very nice and for the most part (except for my own akwardness) is able to put my social anxiety at ease.


now, Things have been up and down with my mom tonight, but at the moment we're OK.


Though the appointment today was chaos. I walked out on him. yep, I was so over his shit. I walked.out. I have no regrets. I cried alot though, and have a major heacache from it.


long story short, i've been properly diganosed with "borderline personality disorder" so THAT was fun. but I sort of knew it anyway. it was more of a shock to mom then it was me.


My brother and dad don't know yet…ha…he did however finally, properly say that I have been through alot and it was understandble. he acknowdledged it.


he also took me off haldol (even if he didn't i wouldn't have taken it anymore anyway) and he uped my sleeping meds and xanax.


so it was a very…interesting session. though thankfully I don't have to see him again until december! 2months without him 🙂 that puts my mind at ease already.


though I didn't do well food wise today, I hardly had anything. my intake was very low plus I exercised so it's basically all used up.


I'm falling back into my restrictive behaviors. No one but myself knows this. and I don't think I can come out and say it. part of me is happy to be back in those behaviors. it's familiar.


well, I guess that's it for now. Hope you all have a good night. talk to you tomorrow.

1 Comment
  1. harvey01 7 years ago

    Glad the gym session went well.  I workout alone and always feel awkward at the gym.  Keep at it!

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