So many of us grow up thinking we know exactly who we are. Or, the opposite; not having a clue. Either way, this causes a lot of anxiety. Allow me to explain.
So, for the past year, I have been telling people that "I'm honest. I know who I am. If I don't like something you say to me, I will tell it to your face." What I lier I am… I am the most unconfrontational, meek human being for the most part.
The worst thing we can do in life is lie to ourselves. When I realized this is what I had been doing, I was full of emptiness. The person I had convinced myself I was, was merely a pigment of my impecibly convincing imagination.
So I started to ask myself, "Who am I?" And I couldn't find the answer. I began to pray on the subject and ask God who He thought I was. I have always had the ability to pray to Him and to hear him almost vocally respond to what I ask. I heard Him say, who were you when you were happy?
It was then that I realized I had thrown away all of the things I used to enjoy. I was such an art freak! I danced, acted, painted, sang, played guitar. You name it, I did it. All of those things were my "escapes" for when I was afraid during my childhood.
That night, I pulled out some old paint and canvas and painted this:
The next day I had an offer for someone who wanted to buy it. Something I did just for fun to find myself ended up being so much more than that.
Then, I started writing again and and going to enroll in dance soon. Its amazing how when you go back to your roots, the comfort level you feel.
I encourage all of you to think back to when you were a younger. What did you do that made you feel free? What made you feel significant? Have you left that in your past? How is one expected not to be anxious if we don't have times to escape our chronic emotions?
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Love your life, and live it fully 🙂
