Dear tribers …
I am so upset right now I dont know where to start, I am in in the most on & off relationship I have possibly ever been in& cared so much about at the same time. October will make us 3 years on& off .. our longest break up being 3 weeks but still none the less.. confusing and painful . We simply stopped getting along..every little thing he does I find offensive ? It's almost like I love & hate him all at the same time .. he broke up with me 2 days ago , his reasoning : " i love you but i dont know if im falling out love with you or not .. you are such a negative person now & you are just never happy with anything. Always bitching & complaining , you forgot how to have fun . Im sad cus I miss you but I need time to figure out what I want ..because I feel that we are no longer good for eachother '' . Of course , there was more to what he said but this time it hits me heavy and so deeply because I personally feel unhappy ..unhappy with him ..and unhappy without ..where did my happiness go? I fear my anxiety and now depression is to blame..
did we break up because of me? i almost feel what he does is selfish..leaving me and expecting me to wait or something. Well, its not like he tells me to wait but we break up and hes texting me 2 days later saying how have u been? i miss u & wish things didnt end up like this … like why the fuck dont you see that your fucking with my head…quit toying me i am so fuckin confused . You either want me or you dont , you chose to leave . I am so dependant on him , I feel a rush and pain in my chest when I thinking about who he might be with right now…is he really out of love with me…why the hell is this happening to me…I am so young to feel so dependant..why couldnt I stayed single just like all my other girlfriends? …19 years of dumbass thats what I am lol..
hi 123, i read alot of blogs and most i dont know how to leave a reply because i havent got the answer. Im afraid my advice would be wrong. It seem to me that your your taking alot of the blame for your rocky relationship.Im divorced so im no one to give advice but i will say loving someone enough to see there troubles is important. your afflictions are apart of you wich make them a part of your relationship, to be worked through together.Be honest with your partner just like you were here. Dont be ashamed of you anxiety or depression, beat it and ask if he is willing to help you both understand it so life can move forward in your life and you relationship.
my best to you
pete
I\'m no therapist…can only offer my opinion. Yes; it sounds like he is \”blaming\” you the way he phrased his annoucement. We are all responsible for how we feel. I have been thru a handful of long term relationships….along the way i tried to learn from eath one..and several were successful even tho they ended. I learned alot about myself I tried to pick better partners too. NOT saying your relationship will end. I just think finding healthier behaviorrs for yourself would be to your benefit. And, yes- you are young. This is all about the journey in life. Hopefully you will look back on this time and learned some valuable lessons. just my take as a 46 year old \”old\” person lol.
It is soooo hard being young … I remember it well even though at 49 yrs old, I forget a lot … lol … having anxiety or depression is not something u should be ashamed of, but work on. I agree with Pete, talk with him and ask him if he is willing to help u. If so, thats great. If not, then its time to move on. Take care of urself first. When u have a healthier outlook, then others around u will too. Its not easy, and there are days when u just feel like giving up … but dont! You will get better, learn to manage and have valuable lessons for the future. I went thru a time when I had to let negative ppl go from my life. Now that I look back on it, even though it hurt to do it at the time, my life now is so much better for it. I am not saying for u not to try with him. Ya\'ll have a history. Try, but if it doesnt work out, learn from it. This mess can ruin relationships, I know cuz I was married for 23 yrs and it ruined my marriage. At the time, I thought I couldnt/wouldnt make it. But today I am with the most wonderful man and my life is better.
Hold on hon … give it time, and keep busy!
We are all here for you if u need us.
If after 3 years he doesnt know then you are better off with him. It doesnt get any easier as you get older. You have to figure out how to depend on yourself before you can truely be happy with someone else. I know its hard and somedays feels impossible. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember you deserve happiness and dont let anyone tell you any different