I’ve just joined OCDtribe, looks like a good sight.  Anyway I wanted to write today, because I needed to get some stuff out.  I have OCD and I work in Community Services as a Case Worker Coordinator.  

My job is full on I work with really complex clients.  Anyway aside from the job being tough, it’s made tougher by the fact that I have OCD.  I don’t really hide the fact that I have it, but only a few people at work know that I have it. And I guess today I was feeling I wish more people knew, because maybe then they would be more compassionate. 

As an example, I wouldn’t say I was the most liked person at work, maybe because I come across as really anal and conservative and law abiding, when in actual fact I’m not really, but because of my OCD I have to do certain things and cannot do things in halves…  

People always say, “You are so organized.” when if they realized that actually my OCD was driving me to do so much of what I do.  Hmmmm… I’m imaging this email is getting a bit boring for everyone… but I’m going to go on, because the other thing that I feel that I’m not sure I can go on feeling is a very very low self esteem. I’m sure people see me as confident if not over confident… I’m sure in my ethics, but I doubt my self so much… 

I have my normal OCD doubts, and then I have my “Everyone hates me” doubts. Does anyone else feel this way?  Its weird because I would say that I’m pretty level headed, mature person, by my OCD is so irrational and I can’t control the amount of control I feel that I need, and I have this overwhelming need to be liked, even when I can rationalize it and “Know” somewhere in me, that its ok for people not to like me and some people won’t like me… 

Anyway I guess I’m just thinking it would be such a relief for everyone at work to know that I’ve got OCD so they could know what it is that I’m going through… and why I am the way I am… 

How does everyone else cope with this?  Do you just feel like you might not be able to keep it up?

Does anyone just have this sense that they are fundamentally bad?

And is that even my OCD or is that something additional to this?

If you managed to get through this email and can bring yourself to answer at least one of my myriad of questions I would really appreciate it.

Thanks, in Solidarity and Strength – Chris

1 Comment
  1. Mono1115 14 years ago

    Hi! I also feel that way alot.  I also work in the field…I am a therapist.  No one really knows about my OCD though, because it's not the typical contamination, or ordering, checking type. I'm more of a pure obsessional, and most of my coworkers don't understand that.  Anyways, welcome to the tribe and I hope you find as much support here as I did!

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