I have two friends that are driving me up a wall. The first is a girlfriend of mine, she has anxiety issues herself. Two years ago she, and her then boy friend, decided to have a baby. Oh, they weren\'t ready to get married (WTF?) but they wanted a baby. So nine months later here come cute little Dakota. When the baby was a few months old they started having problems and a little while after that they broke up. He took off and hasn\'t sent her any money, seen the baby, etc. She has nothing to say good about him and goes on and on and on about what a deadbeat jerk he is. Now she has no money, she can\'t go out. Her anxiety is horrible. Raising a baby is hard with anxiety alone. Her life is pitiful blah blah blah. I want to remind her that she was the one the signed up for this, not sure what she expected! UGH!! Now here is this poor little child that has two dumb parents who only give a rip about themselves.
The second one is a guy friend of ours. He met this gal over a year ago. He had several people tell him to stay away from her. She seemed nice enough to me, but I couldn;\'t get over the fact that she was beautiful and he was just an "okay" looking guy. lol She was way out of his league! He caught her in lies right off the bat but he was so smitten and continued to see her and he ended up quitting his great job and moving away. He pretty much severed his ties with all his friends, family and his support network and off into the sunset they rode. Well, he showed up two months ago, she dumped him. He\'s devestated and whiny. He sleeps on my couch at least five nights a week. All he wants to do is "talk about her" I would love to tell both of them they got what they deserved ( this is my husbands advice) but I am trying to be a good friend to both of them. Why do people lose their brains in realationships!!!! I hope this gets some of this off my chest without exploding on either one of them!
You have to loose your brains and your heart in a relationship. It's a normal experience we all go through.
Over the years when couples grow tired of each other, they slowly loose interest and succumb to the realization that the both of “them” are not good for each other. The happiness is slowly torn, piece by piece, until the fabric that once held it together is gone. It's a long process and somewhat of a slow transition into being complacent with the fact; in a small sense, a “growing-out” of approach.
Take into consideration your friends experiences; those are far more vigorous timeframes in which out from one and into another. It must be so hard to peal apart something that was bonded together more so by one more than the other; a shred approach; an implant of a life that one didn't expect, nor wants. It's not surprising that ones body rejects the nature of the beast.
No one is immune and we all go through it in our own ways. Love can be evol. Just be wise and don't get caught-up in the tear yourself… :o)
I have taken a more brutal approach to these kind of things – any messing around and I\'ll ditch people. I mightn\'t know much about how to stand up for myself, but the power of walking away cannot be underestimated.
Thing I think is how ppl with SAD end up coming out badly in these things – I\'m always not listended to and/or more alone after dealing with these kind of nutcases, because there usually isn\'t that person to turn to or to check up and see if I\'m ok.