I'm just going to keep up with these as a journal for posterity I guess. That's how I see my blog anyway. Keep everything consolidated on one site since I don't blog on any other and I only have 1 topic to write about.

Since she said "we'll talk" and she mentioned on Wednesday that she could go for some Mexican food I sent her a message on Facebook saying even though we really aren't talking to each other yet if it's not too soon and you're willing would you like to go for lunch or dinner on Saturday and go see a movie after? I suggested The Nut Job since we both like Gabriel Inglesias and Jeff Dunham. 4 hours after seeing the message she sent me a text saying she couldn't this weekend because it was her long weekend for work. I guess I should have known better asking her out to dinner and a movie the day after we saw each other for the first time in a week. She's already moved on for the most part and seems to have maybe a hint of a spark left for me but I have a bonfire for her and every minute feels like a day. Time is passing differently for me and I need to take that into consideration. I keep saying we have 7 months but to me it already feels like a month has passed. Trust isn't easily gained once it's lost and I need to remember that. It's easy for me to come up with all the answers for other people and give advice that makes sense, but it's hard for me to take my own advice. Sure I can tell someone in my position to give it time, take things slow, don't smother her with texts and messages right away or you'll undo whatever progress you may have made the previous day but when I'm the one in that position it's hard as Hell to do.

Ever since I moved back to my grandparents house in 2002 (after my then fianceecheated on me with a man twice her age) and started renting their basement my part of it began to look like a bachelor pad. Back then I was 22 and thought it would be temporary but as my grandmothers health went downhill and my financial situation didn't improve it turned into semi-permanent. I am cramming most of a 2 bedroom apartment into half of a partially finished basement and that doesn't help appearances and storage. When I got home last night I decided to start getting rid of things and downsizing so when I do move it'll be much easier. Plus I'm 32 now and I'm tired of it looking like a college students dorm room. I can't have friends over without feeling embarrassed, not to mention potential female suitors. I'm starting with clothing that I either don't wear or won't fit anymore. It looks like our local clothing donation store is getting 4 bags of clothes and I'm gaining a fair amount of dresser and closet space. It'll be nice to start going through boxes I haven't touched in years and toss most of that stuff too. It's time to get rid of the clutter in my life, in more ways than 1.


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