Hi friends. I wide awake although I've been exhausted all day. I'm getting married in about 4 weeks. My fiance has been through a nervous breakdown, losing his job (again), having an expensive mortgage, having one car between the 2 of us, insert problem here…Recently, I told him I can't take his mood swings anymore, his horrible attitude, and I told him he has to see a therapist and I psychyatrist. He actually listened and had his first appointment a few days ago. I told him 2 years ago that I was noticing crazy mood swings and manic behavior. He was indenial about it, but it's a good thing he went to get help finally. Bipolar and Schizophrenia run in his family and the psychyatrist immediatly started him on what she called "mood stablizers," and some other wierd new medicine I've never heard of. She even wants to speak to his therapist. She said that he's at prime peak time for Bipolar to show itself and I think that really hit him. This whole time that I've been trying to warn him, he's just been shrugging it off and denying that he had a problem…but since those appointments, he's been different. Not in a bad way, but he's actually been happier…more like how I remember him. I really hope that it sticks. I wish I could see a therapist, but I don't have the time and I don't have the money either. At night, it seems like all my anxieties come out about EVERYTHING. So here I am. Rambling them all out. I go away to my grad school program in 2 weeks…I have to live on campus there for 2 weeks and I know I nervous about that. Then a week after that is when we get married. My hair has really been falling out a lot. I feel like it's been falling out more than usual. I'm really afraid I'm getting permanent hair loss. I've been taking clonopin almost every day or night. I miss my best friend who moved out of our house, I can't stand my cousin who is my maid of honor and just abandoned me and doesn't care about me or my wedding…granted she's 21, but still…I guess I'll end it here…there's just so much in my mind at once


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