I’m on a verge of a huge meltdown

I really don’t know what to do

All I do is work they took away our vacation days we don’t have any sick days we have nothing.  The client at my job gave us a raise but my a job kept our raise and it’s legal.

There are no other jobs that are full time around…. The others are offering less money and less days. I certainly can’t work 7 days a week if I get a handle 4.


Legally i could  get disability 90% sure of it. But my Bill’s… I can’t afford it.

I would also have to go to the doctors which again I cannot afford. .. I have taken surance that won’t even cover a female annual or a mammogram.


This is how my year went so far

January 2nd my washer stopped

I have To hand wash everything

2nd week of January my car breaks down

I didn’t know being harassed at my job from the new bosses. They wanted me to finish this online course and I told them I been it distracted because of the everybody dying in my life and they told me it’s no excuse for failure. My husband was even dead 6 months yet my best friends not even 5 months. Im a bit fried you know

January 31st… I had a doctor’s appointment for my female appointments…. That’s how I found out my insurance wouldn’t cover a basic check up.

I asked about chiropractor care and they said yes they will cover it….. Unless I get an adjustment.😒 wtf

Now this same day I found out my transmission went in my car… I already have a badd transmission in my truck. I can’t sell both cars for one car because I’ll just buy somebody else’s headache.

Then I lost my last $20.

I went home and I said OK I’ll take a relaxing walk by the river….


I got a call from my new boss at least I thought it was from him but it was somebody else


Telling me I need to update my security license.


He hired somebody to do what I was doing from my old boss but made the excuse that there was no need for me.

The embarrass mean for the whole entire company. And I was discredited made into a joke…. 2 months earlier we were supposed to get a raise from the client…. I gave it to us my company kept it… Legally they’re able to keep our raise…. And we work harder that’s why they gave us a race we have more to do in my company kept it…. The biggest security company in North America pays really badd wages to their employees. As a brag that they bought the 3rd security company in a months

I walked back from the river to find out there’s a huge hole in my barn roof.

I went back inside I got a phone call , my birth father died.  That’s all one day.


The next week the anniversary of my husband’s death… I got a  Virus pretty bad.

I could barely open my eyes I try calling people and I called my boss telling him that I needed somebody to cover me because I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it in…… His responses telling me let me know when  You fill that slot. 🙄 If I had a person I couldn’t of been calling him.


So I didn’t have a feeling and I had to work sick.

Little dog is in the process of dying

I’m exhausted I can’t even do anything anymore… I’m having a freaking break down and nobody cares


What I ask for financial help when my husband died… I was told that it’s my karma. I deserve this. It’s my fault. Stop demanding money .there are people who have it worse than you.  I should have gotten a better job. I should have gotten a job that was closer.


I was minus almost $300 in my account I lost 2 weeks of work

They also do not know that are you not have working plumbing. And my electric is shot

They know about my transmission of being bad.


I have nothing to look forward to

My body hurts I’m very tired I can’t do anything that I enjoy. There is nothing I really enjoy anymore……


I know I nobody reads this but at least some kind of outlet. I don’t have to worry about killing myself… Life is doing it for me


  1. pirayygmail-com 2 years ago

    I just read the entire thing and I’m so sorry, all this sounds awful and is too much for anyone!! I hope there is some place that you can find hope. You are not alone, we all have awful things happening to us. I hope you can find strength and hang in there. I feel for you.

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  2. pirayygmail-com 2 years ago

    Please call the free suicide prevention line if you need to talk someone


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