Good evening or maybe i should say good morning! Any who today Im at what i would call a halfway day. Its a song by d’angelo called good days bad days halfways days! I think that’s what it’s called but anyway I found out my app for my apartment was approved so I am very excited about that. I just recently moved from Wisconsin to Florida. Why for alot of reasons,change of climate wanted to provide a better living envoirment for my son,and I got tired of shoveling snow. I also wanted to get away from my son’s father!! Maybe that’s the real reason Im not sure but am I happy? I would like to be but yet im not.I have to stay with my dad and stepmom for awile and they have been really helpful I’ll never be able to put into words how grateful i am for their help. But yet there is still an empty hollowness deep inside that I cant shake. It follows me wherever I go and the scary part about it is that my 4yr old feels it,and ofcourse that makes me feel even worse. I was told about this site by my oldest dearest friend and I think its the best thing that has happen to me in a longtime.To have the freedom and acceptance of ppl u dont even knw care about how u feel and what’s going on in your life is sooo wonderful. To be able to vent with ppl who are going thru some of the same feelings and emotions as u or maybe worse or not as sereve and then for them not to judge you!!!! It makes me think that I can at least attempt to try and see this thing called life works out. Is there a reason why life has to be so hard? Have I taken apart in my life being harder than it has to be? yes maybe in some of the choices I have made but all the same it still has its way of coming  together. Being 31 and a single parent was not my plan but yet here he is! My son saved my life,if he had not been born I wouldn’t be here! So now for the past 4 years I have been trying to make the best decisions for him. How can I better myself to take care of him? Because to be honest if I continued my path of self-hatred I could not even take care of him. So I take my life minute to minute,breathe by breathe. And all I can do is pray,hope,and wish that one day I’ll wake up and love the person I see in the mirror. So I say it again this is me…Hate it or love it!

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