33 days of loneliness because my significant other is off in holland for the month due to work… it is just me and my son and our animals… it is day 4 and i guess things are going ok… they could be better… i haven’t been proud of myself though… i’ve been kind of lazy… and my sleep schedule has been off because i’ll stay up late so i can chat with the SO online while he’s at work…

i have a bbq to go to today… kind of don’t want to go… but my parents asked me if i wanted to go with them and i know they’re just trying to help me out so that i don’t feel so alone…

i did have a project i was working on… i had about 3500 pictures on my laptop and had to do some deleting and categorizing so i could burn them to disc… it was kind of sad to see pics of me with my so called friends… we had lots of good times… but i guess it’s time to move on to a new chapter in my chaotic life…

also… money has been tight for us… since i’ve been on disability and now unemployment, money doesn’t come in as fast as it used to because the paperwork takes so long… one of my ‘friends’ owes me like 700 or so from a trip to hawaii we took together before the friendship fell apart… dunno how to ask her for the money because before i said ‘feel free to pay me back whenever you can’ — god i’m such a sucker..,

it’s kind of weird to not have my emotions all over the place… i guess depakote is working… i was concerned i had to change meds again because of my crazy sleep schedule… but i can attribute that to wanting to talk to the SO and some anxiety…

woe is me… :dizzy: