We have had a tech glitch that required us to restore the website. Unfortunately, new members and content that was created today 10/22 were lost. New members will need to sign up an acct again. We are very sorry about this.

feeling like theres no point more and more, im not a person, ill never be one, ive never fit in anywhere, some of us die alone cradle to grave, why cant i be one of them, theres nothing special about me, there would be no one to notice if i disappeared just a little more than i already have, people dont remember cowards. i wanst going to bring this up, i just i keep talking to the walls, i dont know what else to do, i wrote a note and i keep it in my pocket everywhere i go, for almost two weeks now, i add to it bit by bit everyday, i dont know how much more i can take, so having it there is sort of like a pressure release, i touch it and i know at any moment im ready, and it worked for awhile, i went to out, movies ,eating, by myself without thinking, because it could be my last movie, it could be my last meal, all i could think was why not, but now, all i can think is why bother, i touch it and as much as its a safety blanket, it now a weight, i can feel it sitting there in my pocket at work, i put my mind on it and go through everything again, everytime i think about it, ive never been a people person, ill never have people in my life the way everyone else does, ill never be that because im this until i die, and being this means being unlikable to everyone, for who i am, not because of anything else, because its my fault, because its too late to be any one else now. i used to think, fine, but its not fine, im not fine with it, but its too late to be anything else, it still feels like an escape, but more and more it feels like thats all there will ever be, i cant stop wondering, why. it cant be healthy, i know its not but there are so few things that i have that feel good, i ask myself why cant i hold onto this one knowing full well its hurting me, but i dont want to let it go, its soaked in more tears than ever knew i could have, it feels like id be letting go of a part of myself and i dont want to be any more alone than i already am

4 Comments
  1. ran-trail 3 years ago

    Everyone has their “demon”. Life is about learning and pushing forward…..sometimes just plain….survival. ups and downs. Some longer than others. We are all going through this. Remember, you’re not alone. We are here to learn to love ourselves and others.

    |
    0 kudos
  2. elf 3 years ago

    For once, I have no words. All I can do is cry with you.

    |
    0 kudos
  3. quiet1 3 years ago

    You are too young to be so despondent. Please get help soon. I wish I had had acknowledged that I had a problem when I was younger. I was fine with being alone all my life until a few weeks ago when it all hit me like a ton of bricks how lonely I was…

    |
    0 kudos
  4. ucfdarkknight 2 years ago

    I think it’s awesome you got 3 responses on your blog. I noticed most blogs don’t get any replies. it means you did something right.

    I also feel worthless. lots of time actually. it almost seems like everyday I just wasted this life that was given to me. I know this blog was written two years ago, but I hope that things have gotten better now

    |
    0 kudos

Leave a reply

© 2020 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account