Dear Tribe Family and Friends, it was 5 years ago this month i had my first heart attack. i had to be air-vacced from Kingman Arizona, to Las Vegas Neveda to Desert springs hospital for major heart surgery. when the plan arrived in Las vegas we had to sit on the airport tarmac for 2 hours wating for an ambulance to take me to the hospital. it took so long to get me to the hospital that my wife had time to drive 108 miles to Vegas and she got there before i went into surgery. i had to have a triple by pass and was in the hospital for 9 days. it was 4 years ago this month i had my second heart attack and had to have one of the by-passes repaired as it had shut down and i had to have a stent put in. since then i have had 2 small heart attacks and two angioplastys but it was the first sugery that almost killed me. i died on the operating table off and on for 7 minutes. it took 3 shots with the paddles to bring me back from the grips of death. since that time i have had my gall bladder removed, a broken right leg, i broke my left foot and tore the ACL in my left knee, had hernia surgery. i am also hooked to an insulin pump. but you know through these surgeries and broken bones i am still a productive member of Narcotics Anonymous. i am 100% disabled today but i am still trying my best to carry the message that you do not have to pick up no matter what. yes i had to take pain medication during those times when it was needed but my loving wife gave me my meds when needed.

I see a lot of newcomers on here struggling so hard to find answers to their problems with addiction. please before you die give NA a try. find out what it is truly like to live life the way God wants you too. i used for 22 years and now i have a little over 22 years clean. if an old doper like me can do this simple spiritual program so can you. i have tried to reply to every newcomer i can to let them know there is a way out. yes you have to change everything in your life, your play mates, youtr play places, your play things and get to know a God of your understanding. try going to some NA or AA meetings. in fact look at how many years you have put into being a doper. try giving the 12 step program of your choosing one year. If you don't like it after that we will gladly refund your misery 100 percent. i do not have all the answers for you and sometimes i don't truly even know the question but together we can find a solution.

I have not blogged on here for a while because it was getting to be the same old thing. today i make a promise to all my family of friends i have on here to blog at least once a week or so. if you find that you are constantly relapsing figure out what the trigger is. if something is swtopping you from seeking the freedom from active addiction in your life then eliminate the problem. i have seen so many people go back out and die from this disease that it just tears me up. i have had sponsees commit suicide, because they got tired of life. they lost the reason of why they got clean in the first place. if your clean now get on here and help these newcomers. all we have is today. i am no better than the person who has one day. we still need to fight the good fight. 22 years ago king kong was on my shoulders today it's a little spider monkety jerking off on my shoulder. my disease is still doing one armed push ups behind my back. but i can fight that by being a productive member of NA. please remember you are not alone in your struggles. none of us are unique. we have all walked through some of the same things let me tell you it's a lot easier to walk through them clean than it is loaded. I am so blessed and grateful to have a wonderful wife, a family who loves me, 4 kids and 4 grandkids whom i love very much but most of all i am glad to have all my recovery friends in my life. i have friends all over this planet. just remember that recovery is a journey not a destination and use the rest stops God provides along the way.

NA Hugs from a very Grateful Recovering addict,

JJ