I think it's time to end things.

I love him, so very much. He's my fiance, I mean.. of course I love him. He's my world, besides my kittys. And it kills me to know that to lose him I'll probably lose them as well. It kills me to have to start over at 27, will I ever find the one? Do I have to settle? What do I do.. I just can't dothisanymore.

I'm sick of feeling like my needs aren't important to him. Our life is really HIS life. His OCD is overtaking everything and it's smothering me. I've been supportive for almost 3 years. I've done my best to make him happy and comfortable. He doesn't work. All he does is sleep all day, smoke weed, drink beer and play video games. I've begged him time upon time to please come to bed early (between 2-3 am) on nights when I have to get up early for work because it wakes me up when he comes to bed. I've had to open at work every day this week, meaning I have to be up around 7 am, so when does he come to bed? 5. 5 am. When I have two hours before I need to get up. How is this fair to me? It's not.

That's where I'm at. He's a good guy, he makes me laugh blah blah blah it's not enough. I'm sick of being exhausted all the time. It's not fair. He doesn't have to work. Why doesn't he care that I have to be up? I told him a few nights ago that I was getting close to leaving because of it, he promised to make an effort. He made an effort that night. He came to bed before three. The next night I made the mistake of sleeping with him and now that he got what he wanted, he's not trying anymore. Last night? 5 am. I woke up before he was even coming to bed and had to tell him to COME TO BED. I'm tired of sleeping alone. I'm tired of being woken up a couple hours before I have to get up for work. I seriously feel so disrespected.

What do I do… I feel like maybe I'm being ridiculous if this is the only problem I have with him I should consider myself lucky right???? A lot of girls get lied to and cheated on and all this. But I also feel like I'm majorly settling if I let this keep happening. This isn't what I want for my life, so why should I deal with it? I just don't know how to do it. We live together, we have cats and a car payment together. I'm scared. Should I just stick around long enough to pay the car off then I can save up for a place by myself? Or do I just jump in..? I'm too tired to even think straight.


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