I have always had an issue with somtimes being too epethetic. In the past i have tried to not take on other peoples problems but i just cant help it. I have a really good friend that i have been close with for 12 years now. I love her to death. we have both been through a similar situation (with our parents). every time i talk to her it baffles me how much we have in common. Anyways…. She is the type of person who you get on the phone and they talk to you about their problems for hours. I am always there to help her no matter what but somtimes it makes my anxiety get really bad. Someone once told me "there is a reason why therapist usually only talk to you for 45min-hour, its so both parties can take in what was said but not get too burnt out or overwhelmed." Im not sure if i have talked about my phobias on my blogs i cant remember. When i get really stressed or my anxiety is really high it becomes really hard for me to eat. Part of my phobia (i have no idea where i picked it up from) is i cant eat anything to salty,sweet or fattening. I litterally imagine my blood pressure raise or an increse in heart rate from sugar or worst of all that i will be allergic to some mystery ingredient in it. Some people close to me know about it and they either laugh about it or are like thats not a bad thing. I am terrible with other people preparing my foods, if they made it and i wasnt watching chances are i wont eat it. That incudes eating at any type of fast food place. I know it is totally nuts i just cannot seem to drop the phobia. I was starving tonight, decided to try somthing different. I had some popeyes ate half of it and spit it out. It tasted so good but i just couldnt bring myself to ingest it. Some days im okay about eating food prepared by others if i have been eating healthy lately or i know whatever is in it. I wish i could say this is my only phobia (that would'nt be so bad considering this phobia makes me loose weight). My conclusion is on days when im extra stressed or cant seem to shake the all over, on edge of an anxiety attack feeling My phobias are 100 times worse. if i am unable to push through it i get extemely depressed and feel like a failure…Vicious cycle. Right now im taking 3 online accelerated classes (which require 13 hours a week of homework per class), working in the morning and trying to juggle my personal life mixed with everyone elses issues. All i can think is …..why do i do this to my self, why do i take on others problems (which drains all of my energy) when i am mentally incabable of handling my own problems. Its like my natural instinct or something to be overwhealmed. allweek i have felt terrible, on edge and ready to have a anxiety attack at any moment its like a Big dark cloud hovering over my head. For me tightness in my chest and not being able to breath is the worst symptom + the tempertures here have been in the 90's which has made the breathing this way worse.. If i was able to Breath i think i could calm myself down more. Its the mixture of all the symptoms that make it unbarable. Im hoping ill have a relaxing uneventful weekend

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