For the record, Im utterly lost. I dont know what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing xbox. Ive shut myself away in my house, unable to think of anything Id like to be doing. I no longer have any words for anyone about anything. My mind is just locked in this behaviour and I know its the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I know that human beings are social creatures, I know we need the emotional and spiritual support of our peers in order to persevere through the toughest of times. I also know that to recieve you must first give. Thats my problem, I dont know that I have anything to give anymore. When Im around people I find myself trapped in my own mind with absolutely nothing coming to it. I have no interest, opinion, or personality it seems. I cant pull myself outside of the cage ive built for myself in my mind. I know I need to work…but I also know that noone wants to be around a zombie either. I worry that even if i get the job they will quickly realize how antisocial ive become and cut me loose quickly. I hate the awkward silences, and that seems to be all I can produce…I know ive been this way for years, but recently its gotten alot worse. I finally decided to admit i have a problem and seek therapy, though I picked the absolute worst time because my insurance will end at the end of the month. It seems everything I need to do I must do on my own. Im putting this out there because for one if i can see my own words in front of me, It makes me remember that I do know how to communicate. I also hope anyone can help me figure out how to rediscover myself. I know i need to find some reason to get myself out of bed in the morning.
Life when im conscious
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The Dull Ache
thebadkitty, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Stress, Weight Loss, 0
I need sex more than most people. I’m bipolar, and hypersexual, and presently unmedicated. (I’m trying to change the...
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Allow me to introduce myself :)
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hello 🙂 I like this site- it's funny how I found it- it was a random ad on the...
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Goodbyes
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I hate having to say goodbye. I hate when people leave and you don’t know if you’ll really ever...
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Alone again for the holidays.
Anthem2004, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 1
I am in San Antonio, TX living in a retirement community with people old enough to be my parents...
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F*CK!
x10122007, , Depression, Relationships, Stress, 0
I just want to have one good day. Just one. Why is that so hard? It started out good...
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F.E.A.R.
Rach, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Depression, 1
You may have heard these acronums for FEAR. (sometimes I wish I could spell but oh well). So one...
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Lost in life and negative towards others
KirstKirst, , Depression, Career, Depression, OCD, Relationships, Self Esteem, 0
I'm not even sure where to start this. I'm sad for a variety of reasons and its making me...
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Random Vent Entry #1 (?)
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Being a teenager sucks. I know I am a freshman, but nonetheless, it is still difficult with puberty and...

