For the record, Im utterly lost. I dont know what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing xbox. Ive shut myself away in my house, unable to think of anything Id like to be doing. I no longer have any words for anyone about anything. My mind is just locked in this behaviour and I know its the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I know that human beings are social creatures, I know we need the emotional and spiritual support of our peers in order to persevere through the toughest of times. I also know that to recieve you must first give. Thats my problem, I dont know that I have anything to give anymore. When Im around people I find myself trapped in my own mind with absolutely nothing coming to it. I have no interest, opinion, or personality it seems. I cant pull myself outside of the cage ive built for myself in my mind. I know I need to work…but I also know that noone wants to be around a zombie either. I worry that even if i get the job they will quickly realize how antisocial ive become and cut me loose quickly. I hate the awkward silences, and that seems to be all I can produce…I know ive been this way for years, but recently its gotten alot worse. I finally decided to admit i have a problem and seek therapy, though I picked the absolute worst time because my insurance will end at the end of the month. It seems everything I need to do I must do on my own. Im putting this out there because for one if i can see my own words in front of me, It makes me remember that I do know how to communicate. I also hope anyone can help me figure out how to rediscover myself. I know i need to find some reason to get myself out of bed in the morning.
Life when im conscious
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Simple to you, Complex to me.
Shadow334, , Depression, PTSD, Therapist, 1
Hello its me again. just an update before i ramble on again. Last thursday on my way into work...
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Facing my deep rooted issues
NMcCall45, , Anxiety, Depression, Therapist, 0
It took getting blocked from what I thought was a close friend and a content creator I really liked...
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Overwhelmed
BeBe0227, , Anxiety, Depression, OCD, Anger, Therapy, 2
Been feeling very overwhelmed by my emotions and thoughts these days. Lately all I seem to feel is lost,...
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Trying to be less obnoxious…
thebadkitty, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, 0
Feeling a little better. Still feel like I am disgusting, but that will pass. Charlie told me, on the...
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Best song- yoko kanno
angelious, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
best song motivation through tears as the lyrics bit into me and make me see and feel. enjoy ouuuuuu…...
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HOW IT HAPPENED…….
virus, , Depression, Alzheimer's, Child, Depression, Grief, Questions, 0
If you've ever had a toothache, off and on for a long time, and went to the dentist. ...
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Fade away
rainbowgurl6667, , Depression, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child, Depression, Dissociative Disorder, Domestic Abuse, Medication, Obesity, Personality Disorder, Relationships, 0
this shall be my first blog here. certainly not the first ever. but all the “open diary” sites suck....
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Bla bla bla
LonelyFemaleForever, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Stress, Therapy, 2
Well tomorrow I have an important presentation. I am almost done with college and this week I am not...
