well here we go for year 3 of profound loneliness after i lost my wife – the anniversary of her passing was on the 28th of November – most of the advise i keep getting is it’s time to move on – but move on to what ?? – i have but 2 friends ( none in Plymouth ( UK ) ) who live miles away – am disabled so don’t get out much and socialising is difficult when one has to use a mobility scooter to get round and one does not drive anymore – and lets be fair – i am pretty much "invisible " to women – what they see is a guy on a scooter – they don’t see a person who is capable of fun – laughs – intellectual conversation – and love – no they just see a guy on a scooter – someone who is not worthy of their interest

and lets be fair what can i offer the average female ?? – not a lot really in their eyes – as i have come to the conclusion that most are only interested in material things – holidays – traveling – nights out – etc etc – and of course the average woman of 45 or so is usually pretty well set up with a career – friends – their own home  – and don’t want to start from scratch – if you don’t believe this – go read some profiles on dating sites – of course if you are someone in a similar position to me – then i am teaching you to suck eggs here

may be i was spoiled by my late wife – not a materialistic bone in her body – bless her – she had little when i met her – and we worked together to sort out a run down house – and many problems – including her own disabilities – but i think it was all planned that i should meet her and make her final years a bit better – i am a great believer in fate or what ever you want to call it

but now even that has been taken from me – my one shot at happiness ?? – probably – and a lot of women don’t want to know widowers anyway as they think we would be constantly comparing them to our late wives – but do they all think we are so shallow ??

– any sort of MAN  – respects a woman as an intellectual equal – as her own person – with thoughts and feelings – experiences and knowledge – unique to her – not as some sort of clone – a one size fits all – possession – who is there to make HIM  look good /feel good etc – it should be ( imo ) the other way round – HE  should be there to love and support her – after all – SHE  is really doing him a favor by consenting to be with him – and a lot of guys need to learn that relationships are not about sex – material things – holidays – etc etc – but should go to a far more deep emotional and intellectual level ( may be a few /lot of , women need to learn this too ?? ) – but in these days of i want it all and i want it now – ( and look where that has gotten us ?? ) – relationships these days seem to be more about what one HAS  than – the small pleasures of REALLY  loving someone – the little looks – the small touches – farting in bed and laughing about it – yes i am talking tolerance for your partners foibles !!

but i am just wasting my time here – no one wants to know – cos i am just a guy on a scooter – someone to pass by in the crowd – an invisible person – a non person ………………….so i cant walk too far . big deal – is that all that defines me as a person ??

some days i am beginning to think so

any intelligent – non materialistic females out there who would like to get to know a REAL  gentleman – who has manners – courtesy etc  ………..but that’s a blog for another day

ho hum ………….




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