I have been suffering since i was 3 years old, trying to get help from my nursery teacher since i was 3 years old and suffering in mental illness all this time and STILL, NO ONE believes me. I can't take it anymore how nobody can see it and no matter now much i suffer, how isolated i am, and how well and patiently i try to explain it to people andwork around everyones schedules, i can't get any help! I have been offered pills and that's it. I don't need pills, i need people.
If i don't get help soon i'm going to do something crazy, very crazy, to try and get help. I don't care if i hurt myself, maybe i don't care if i hurt other people a little bit. I'm even writing this to try and get help. It's not fair how you have to be a bad person to get help, i bet if iwas a bad personthen i would get all the help i need. It's not fair. I'm full of rage and nothing else. People need to change, they need to care, they need to open their eyes to see things instead of being cruel and blanking people out and i might have to do something dangerous to do that. I wish i could go to the doctors and smash everything up and grab a patient by the hair and scream "I NEED HELP!" next time they tell me i'm a normal healthy young woman and let me go, while telling me that they are getting me help when they're not. They've been telling me that for years. I can actually understand how serial killers feel sometimes, but according to everyone i try to get help from i'm normal. Okay then. obviously i don't want to kill people but in my mind i have ran the scenarios out and sometimes it seems like it's the only thing that will work to make people believe you. It would sure be a hell of a release. FUCKING RAGE.