For the record, Im utterly lost. I dont know what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing xbox. Ive shut myself away in my house, unable to think of anything Id like to be doing. I no longer have any words for anyone about anything. My mind is just locked in this behaviour and I know its the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I know that human beings are social creatures, I know we need the emotional and spiritual support of our peers in order to persevere through the toughest of times. I also know that to recieve you must first give. Thats my problem, I dont know that I have anything to give anymore. When Im around people I find myself trapped in my own mind with absolutely nothing coming to it. I have no interest, opinion, or personality it seems. I cant pull myself outside of the cage ive built for myself in my mind. I know I need to work…but I also know that noone wants to be around a zombie either. I worry that even if i get the job they will quickly realize how antisocial ive become and cut me loose quickly. I hate the awkward silences, and that seems to be all I can produce…I know ive been this way for years, but recently its gotten alot worse. I finally decided to admit i have a problem and seek therapy, though I picked the absolute worst time because my insurance will end at the end of the month. It seems everything I need to do I must do on my own. Im putting this out there because for one if i can see my own words in front of me, It makes me remember that I do know how to communicate. I also hope anyone can help me figure out how to rediscover myself. I know i need to find some reason to get myself out of bed in the morning.
Life when im conscious
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My First Entry
schmick88, , Depression, Addiction, Depression, Relationships, 1
So, for my first blog I decided to just start typing. I'm not a good blogger and normally I...
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Si mentioned…………
freaky, , Depression, Obesity, Stress, 0
well dont no where to start really its been an odd wk. worried about a friend who has in...
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I’m a character in a book made for torture
Lostatheartandmind, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Anxiety, Career, Sleep Disorders, 1
For context I don’t have a good home life I’m currently 16 no school no job. mom passed 7...
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Oklahoma!
Ellowynne, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Forgiveness, 3
My friends, no matter what, in some places, life goes on as usual. Except for a few, and for...
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Dear younger me
Kitkat84, , Depression, Sexual Abuse, Sleep Disorders, 0
Dear younger me I AM SORRY. I HAVE LET YOU DOWN DRASTICALLY. IM TRYING TO BE BETTER. WE...
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my self harm story
.celeste420., , Depression, Depression, 0
My self harm story… the first time i self harmed was in 6th grade (im now in 8th). I...
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None
Yirah, , Depression, Addiction, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 1
Well, it's another typical day. I hardly even get out of the house anymore. Except to take trash out....
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MY OLD SHELL
Stormbringer, , Depression, Child, 2
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it...

