For the record, Im utterly lost. I dont know what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing xbox. Ive shut myself away in my house, unable to think of anything Id like to be doing. I no longer have any words for anyone about anything. My mind is just locked in this behaviour and I know its the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I know that human beings are social creatures, I know we need the emotional and spiritual support of our peers in order to persevere through the toughest of times. I also know that to recieve you must first give. Thats my problem, I dont know that I have anything to give anymore. When Im around people I find myself trapped in my own mind with absolutely nothing coming to it. I have no interest, opinion, or personality it seems. I cant pull myself outside of the cage ive built for myself in my mind. I know I need to work…but I also know that noone wants to be around a zombie either. I worry that even if i get the job they will quickly realize how antisocial ive become and cut me loose quickly. I hate the awkward silences, and that seems to be all I can produce…I know ive been this way for years, but recently its gotten alot worse. I finally decided to admit i have a problem and seek therapy, though I picked the absolute worst time because my insurance will end at the end of the month. It seems everything I need to do I must do on my own. Im putting this out there because for one if i can see my own words in front of me, It makes me remember that I do know how to communicate. I also hope anyone can help me figure out how to rediscover myself. I know i need to find some reason to get myself out of bed in the morning.
Life when im conscious
-
Do jobs ALWAYS go shitty?
Serrinatta, , Depression, Career, Questions, Sleep Disorders, 0
Is it just me or do jobs always go sour after a while? My previous job went sour because...
-
I’m sorry
EmpatheticShadow, , Depression, 2
I’m sorry I can’t be the perfect daughter I can’t be that older sister The one you look up...
-
Love has hurt me too bad…
Jamaicat, , Depression, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Grief, Relationships, Suicide, Weight Loss, 2
Love has hurt me so much in my life. All i want is to have a healthy relationship, but...
-
Reconnecting
Thendaramoon, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships, 1
well, I have become very distant from my friends and my steprothers and sisters since my parentsdied over 10...
-
Chaos Yesterday
sadviolinist, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Yesterday was chaotic, as I've said to some of you already. I put Zach on the bus as usual,...
-
I need to kill myself
Stucco, , Depression, 0
I need to kill myself, I need to kill myself, I need to kill myself, I need to kill...
-
Not really worth reading
Nitz, , Depression, Anxiety, Questions, Therapist, 2
So I've been reading some blogs and it makes me think that I'm an idiot for thinking my problems...
-
I hate being mentioned
Starpixie831, , Depression, Anger, Relationships, 2
You know when you are referring to someone in your blog or whatever and you don’t name them but...

