So yesterday, i had a new years party, but the whole time was like a blur. I kept on hiding from my friends and acting weird- and i was wondering why. My friends got so confused. one moment im happy the next im depressed. I think i weirded them out. Exept my best friend knew i was acting out of depression. Which- i hate my depression. I mean i have my reasons but it gets worst everyday. The thing is i love my family and i love my friends but sometimes when something goes wrong- like one of my friends loves joking around- he doesnt know when to stop though. He called me fat and he knows im not and he knows it pisses me off..  and it just like hit me and i found myself in my room crying, and why… because im way to sensitive. i just want to not care what people think of me. i love walking around my school confidant but its all fake. i just wish there was a way to wake up in the morning and be excited for school. i have a lot of friends and every weekend im busy with plans so why cant i be happy. a lot of the time i end up crying in my room for like 2 hours for reasons i cant understand. im a 16 year old girl who should be happy but isnt for all the wrong reasons. I get really happy when i give my friends advise to there problems though. im the most trust worthy girl in my school, i love that reputation. But my other repuatation is being a slut. I have my reasons- noone has the right to judge me. What i do i my life is between me myself and i. i hate when im judged. whatever. i guess i just have to suck it up and get through highschool.