I posted this as a poll, but I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions about why I asked this question.

My poll read: What bothers you the most when people say:

1. " I understand". 

It really makes me feel even more hurt inside when I’m expressing my thoughts and feelings to someone and this is their response.  Most of the time I get this response, their follow up is question #2 " I don’t know what to say".  Outsiders think they understand depression based on myths, the odd facts they’ve heard, word of mouth, or b/c they think they’ve experienced it.  I hate when something little happens and someone responds "oh now im depressed."  They don’t understand the half of it.  Living with depression for years is a challenge and a struggle.  Instead of saying " I understand".. why can’t they take the time to understand why it is I feel a certain way about something or try and help me get to the root of the problem.

2. " I don’t know what to say".

Being at a loss of words doesn’t happen as often as people think.  I believe from my own experience, people respond this way to avoid dealing with the information presented to them.  Everyone’s got a story, and when someone reaches out, anyone to takes the time to listen, should also take the time to at least to thank someone for sharing their feelings or at least offer to help them find the support they need, direct them towards someone who may offer better advice, or at least make an effort to reason with them.  When I hear this response, it makes me feel like I just wasted my time.

3. "You’re not ____".

What gives anyone the right to express how I should or should not feel.  Some people have it sooo easy and don’t realize the value of suffering.  When I hear this response I want to cut that person out of my life b/c they obviously don’t care much about feelings/emotions or have the courtesy to at least acknowledge that someone is expressing themselves.  Those people are often people who think too highly of themselves and don’t have any empathy, probably b/c they never we’re shown how to empathize with someone.   (I don’t mean to offend anyone, just how I feel based on my own experience)

4. " You’ll get over it".

My most dreaded response.  I feel like burrying my head in the sand when I hear this.  If it was so easy to get over, you’d think people who have felt depressed for years would have been healed already.  I don’t even know how to respond to this b/c I feel like there’s no point.  It feels like I’ve hit a wall of bricks.  Not all human beings understand the purpose of communication or how to use it to their advantage.  No one ever wants to hear this response when they’re suffering.  If you’re going to offer to hear someone out, at least don’t make them feel worthless.  In order to "get over" something, some form of progression needs to take place.  How can progression occur if when a person takes a step to progress, they’re just made to feel at the bottom of the barrel again.  Where is the value in a response like this?