I’m currently dressed in an outfit that makes me look like Odlaw’s love child with a silent movie swag thief. For some reason I’m quite enjoying it. Guess the drama queen still lurks within a little. But at the moment I actually don’t care about how I look, at least not as intensely as usual. That’s an oddity. It’s a welcome relief although I know it won’t even last the hour. Sigh.

Happy 50th Pa!

Well. It’s been a shit few months, make no mistake. Naturally I have no idea why; no external events in particular have caused it. I just cracked. Pure and simple. Not that i’m all sunshine and daises now. The good old depression, ‘ no one can see my pain’ motto doesn’t quite hold the same connotations for me as it once did. Oh sure the majority of people can’t tell a thing (which I’m pretty pleased about). After all it’s not as though I go around with a bell screaming ‘Unclean!’ however hilarious it may be to see to see the general public’s reactions. But I look ill. I feel it. Obviously it’s psychosomatic- the mind finally eating away at the body. It seems as though I’m using dozens of childish references-god knows why- but anyone seen Fern Gully? I don’t think it would be too absurd of me to use Hexxus in the context of a mental health analogy. Alas, I yet remain to be melodically blessed with Tim Curry’s dulcet tones. 

Since I can no longer clearly see my screeen for mushed sleepy eyes, I’m going to end this and continue blogging later. I have a counselling appointment today anyway, which is sure to be a real joy. Perhaps I will discuss it, perhaps not. Anyone who I haven’t been in touch with- dear god you have no idea how sorry I am! All I can do is send my apologies and promise that I will, WILL send you a message sometime soon. Hopefully that will be enough.