I’m in love,

but not love like ive ever experienced before. i call it love becasue i dont know what this feeling is. its not what i’ve thought love to be.

i feel completley elated when i think of him, i smile the most natural and wonderful smile when i think of him. it makes me cry when he’s not around, i think about it him when i wake up & when i fall alseep. i miss him so intensely (he’s away for 2 weeks. its been a week so far)

everyone seems to doubt him. doubt that this relationship will progress and move into anything significant. i understand their doubts but dont share in them myself. ive knowen this guy for 2 years, i know him well. we talk to each other with truth and passion, knowledge and excitement. we talk about our feelings, our fears, the future the past and everything in between. sometimes we dont even talk at all, we can sit in silence for hours, the most comfortable silence that needs no words. 

He speaks to me in a way ive not heard him speak before, he talks with a maturity that no body else recognises. he comes out of his shell.

he makes me feel like im the only one in the world, like im this completely special person. he makes me feel beautiful. beautiful! that to me is a special guy. He can make me smile and melt inside just be looking at me.

All the old rules dont apply with him. people say he’s not the guy for me, but every guy ive been with in the pasted seemed right & they we’re so wrong. Maybe what seems wrong is right. 

our relationship has built slowly over the past 3 months, we’re still not even actually boyfriend & girlfriend. that doesnt worry me. i think its time i took things slowly, maturely. not rush into a wurl wind romance that fizzles out. i want this to last. to grow.

He’s a cancer, they take their time in love; "A slow, yet smoldering, courtship is what the Crab loves. What`s the rush, anyway? The Crab is determined to win, so the prelims should go on for as long as possible. Once love is in the air, Cancerians prove themselves devoted lovers, protective of the object of their affections and unusually helpful and sympathetic."

I know some poeple dont like horoscopes, or don’t believe in them. But i do. Im  a Taurus and he is a Cancer. everything the say about the two of us makes so much sense. it gives me hope. there is nothing wrong with a bit of hope & faith in love.

Im a strong believer in love. No matter how many messed up relationships I’ve been through i still believe. its the one pure and eternal thing on this earth.

I love Matthew <3