I was sitting at my computer working on a paper for one of my classes while listening to pandora. The song save tonight came on and all of the sudden I found my self thinking about how the song paraleled a situation that occured with me not to long ago and about the exsperience itself. It hurt then it still hurts now I know its the past and it isn't changing I just wish things would have come out differently. I wanted to hang on to hope that it would so I waited and hoped and that hope helped to keep me going but with closure comes loss of hope. When I used to go into that memory it used to not hurt because it wasnt really a goodbye at the time it was more of a be right back now its just a sad goodbye I couldn't accept and I'm left wondering if that was always what it was on his end or if it didnt start out that was just finshed like that. There's a boy that fancys me…he's great with a few exceptions but im still haunted by the ghosts of things that I wish were different. Its not the fact that I cant change the past that is killing me at the moment it's more the fact that it seems like no matter how hard I work at reaching anything I seem to fall short. The weight of past failures or, dress rehersals for the main event as I like to frame them, are weighing heavily on me. It's hard to keep trying with enthusiasm when all past attempts have come out wanting but I keep trying anyway thinking things will be different but it's getting to the point where I start wondering how many times does one have to stick their finger in a burning candle before they learn it hurts them and quit doing it?
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No Clowns
Ajaradom, , Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
It's always been an enigma that this one song pops into my head out of nowhere — It's always...
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The call. The therapist
sadjac, , Depression, Addiction, Career, Depression, Therapist, Therapy, 1
I finally got a call back from the psychologist I have been ringing over the last month. I can’t...
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AAvailable in black and the neutral light brown
vvxifeng16, , Depression, 0
On top there is a succinct designed handle with small rings offering the proper space for handling. Moreover, the...
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Invicible
LonelyFemaleForever, , Depression, Anger, Child, Grief, 4
I am invicible. I dont have a face or a voice. I dont have memories in peoples mind. I...
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Black Mood, Pink Hair
tlilly999, , Depression, Therapist, 2
I had a rocky week – I had my third and apparently now FINAL appointment with the new therapist...
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12/4/2021
ann8113, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Career, Relationships, 0
Today I woke up with my eyes feeling swollen from bawling my eyes out all night. I can’t remember...
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Bad Neighbors
mamabear18, , Depression, Child, 0
I rent a townhouse style condo and my neighbor here owns their property. We’ve been living here since Dec...
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6 years
StuckInARut, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Medication, Obesity, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, 2
Ever since I was 13 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I wouldn't believe it, I had heard...