So, I'm thirty-four today. I never expect fireworks or anything, but I'm still feeling blahall the same. I can't get DH to settle on a different day to celebrate our anniversary–if it were up to me, it would be in June, when we were actually LEGALLY married in private, rather than our fake public wedding day, which fell on my birthday last year. He's never been that great at remembering special occassions and as I expected, he's attempting to "combine" things again. It used to be, he wantedto celebrate both of our birthdays on Halloween–his is 3 days before and mine is almost two weeks later. Forget it. Everyone deserves their own day. Everyone needs that one day that THEY'RE special. He's had 45 of those days. I've had maybe 5 or 6 acknowleged birthdays in my life. I was 23 when my dad whispered a secretive "Happy Birthday" to me for the first time.

DH takes these things for granted–he grew up in a world of holidays and birthdays, whereas I had to beg my mother just to replace my one pair of torn jeans.I'm not asking for executive treatment here, just the occassional bouquet of flowers. Last year on V-day, I told him I was trying to watch my weight and flat out STATEDhinted, days in advance, that I like flowers, and he picks me up a generic heart-shaped box of chocolates on his way home from work that day.I can't show my disappointment, because he'll get bent out of shape that I didn't appreciate his "efforts". I'm not asking for much. Some cheap grocery store flowers will do–at least I'd know he's listening and not just pulling some thoughtless, generic rabbitout of his hat at the last minute.

He asked what I wanted for my birthday this year and I asked him for Stephen King's new book, Dr. Sleep. Two days ago, he comes back to me with a Post-It and a pen, saying, "What's the name of that book again? By whom?" *facepalm*

I got him David Sedaris's latest book, which I'll be giving him on MY birthday. Maybe we should have done our own book shopping and called both "special occassions" a wash. I'm tired of feeling as though I'm always coordinating these kinds things on my own. He's 100 times more organized than I am, on most other days, when I don't need him to remember that a surprise bouquet of cheap flowers happens to go a long way with me.

*sigh*