Hi…Thank you to whomever is reading this!! I am a 23 year old junior, with an associate’s degree in education. I decided to be a nurse, and that is why it is taking me a little longer than expected to finish. I decided to join this, because lately I have burdening my mom with how i feel, and i don’t think she is getting it….I went to see a psychiatrist once a long time ago, and she just sat and listened and wrote notes on me. She wanted me to be medicated, but my parents wouldnt let her. Lately I am very moody and frustrated. As soon as I am agitated by my mom, I blow up at her. Recently she has been picking on me about my weight, and she is very controlling. I have been depressed ever since I came back from college in Philadelphia. I was an outcast at my college, and the only guy friend I ever made there raped me. I have lived iwth guilt since that incident, and sometimes I hate myself for it. I lost my uncle to suicide in 2003. That was very traumatic for me. I have had a hard time with making friends, especially girl friends since grade school. I was ridiculed and made fun of in grade school. The girls in my class would talk about me behind my back, and make nasty comments. I was still the smartest in my class.This year, I am having the same thing happen. One of my good girl friends in college hated the guy who I was talking to, and no sooner than I was talking to him, she started talking to him behind my back. I was outraged and upset, and when i told one of my best friends who is my roommate how i felt, she went back and told her. So I was betrayed twice. Things were ok for awhile cuz we apologized. Last thursday I saw the guy out and i said dont be astranger, since u talked to my friend u havent talked to me. He said he doesnt want a relationship with her. Now my friend is mad at me agin and my roommates aren’t talking to me!! Today is the first time I thought about cutting myself, cuz I am deeply upset.