So I’m a 51 year old man who has battled depression his entire adulthood. Even some during teenage years. If I start from the beginning this blog would take a month to read so I’ll just include the bits that matter most. Like everyone else, I had a large family, have been married (twice) and was part of a parental unit that raised a successful child. Unfortunately depression has always dictated my every move. Depression has been the driver of my car while I sat in the rear seat. There have been times when I was able to get the upper hand and somehow keep it at bay long enough to move a bit forward in life only for it to take control again and shut me down. Like many people, I’ve been medication resistant and it’s been nearly impossible to find the “right-fit” therapist for me. Unfortunately I have recently run out of health insurance so medical care, especially mental health care, is no longer an option at the moment. In june of last year my wife, of 30 years, decided she had enough of my depression and abandoned the marriage. Our Son followed in her footsteps. Battling a divorce, depression and a Covid Pandemic is what has consumed every moment of each day in my life during this past year. So now, I’m completely alone and have been also dealing with fear, despair, loneliness, uncertainty while being left nearly destitute due to this divorce. Funny thing, somehow in the back of my mind I’ve always known that I would end up in my current situation. Easier to walk away from someone with mental health issues than it is from someone with an obvious disability, like being paraplegic. I was a member of DepressionTribe.com many years ago but this site is completely different. Maybe in time I’ll find my footing here…… this is me