OH MAN. Well it's been a while. This post is going to be incredibly self-centered, so I apologize in advance. I feel a lot different since I was last here, some for the better and some for the worse, I guess that's how it goes. The only thing I really know right now is I don't know anything. I'm going through a stage of questioning a lot of things in my life that I never thought I would do, one of which is my relationship. I'm only 22 years old and I've been in a relationship for 8 of those years (yes I know- a damn long time) with someone who has stuck by my side through so much, and is a great guy and person. The more I come into my own, the more distant I feel from him. I feel bored and like we are becoming monotonous. I keep violently trying to shove away these feelings because I feel guilty. It doesn't help that a close friend who has been in and out of my life for a long time has a thing for me, and I'm super attracted to him. No one has ever caught my attention for so long. I'm not the type to run away from something. I'm so confused about so much shit. Also complicating the issue, for the first time in my life I am going to be honest about this, so you heard it first folks- I am bisexual. This is something I have been repressing my ENTIRE LIFE. I told my bf maybe a year ago, and to another person for the first time ever like 2 weeks ago? And to my therapist of almost 6 years yesterday!! For the first time! I feel like a weight has been lifted in a sense. So, that is further complicating this do I want to be young and experiment thing and leave the best thing I've known, but also the only thing. Gaaah. I don't even know. Anyway, if you've stuck with me this far, thanks. More later. Besos <3
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3 months and counting
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