Today I found this site, I don’t really know where to start or how it will help me, but here goes.
I suppose it all started in 2005. I had not long given birth to my youngest, I found out my dad had cancer 3 days later he was dead. My husband (now, my partner, then) was battling depression. I moved in to his house. We decided to get married in August 2006. My husband reappeared for a week, then went back to his depression. He had some anger issues, I was competeing against ghosts. We exchanged houses in October 2007. Life was looking up. Then on 14th Feb this year, we had a kitchen fire. Nearly lost my kitten! Spent 9 weeks in what is laughingly termed a hotel, there were 4 of us plus the dog in one room. Then moved to a temporary house. On 9th July we finally moved back home.
You would think that we would all be happy, but no, t’other half succumbed to depression first closely followed by me. I have never felt this bad! I get angry, I shout, I wallow, Sleep badly, shut myself off, want to disappear (not suicide, couldn’t do that to my kids). Even on anto depressants I have episodes. Am now on a tablet that you take at night because it is anti depressant and sleeping tablet combined. Still having episodes. Today I didn’t really want to get out of bed, I have been distant with t’other half and have been wired into sound to block everything out.
I am sick of feeling like this. I am due to see my doctor on thursday so I will talk to her again. If I didn’t have my 3 year old running on at the moment I would probably just be off with the fairies somewhere.